Sorry to hear you are moving here, the State is a mess. wish I could leave. Property taxes, congestion, corruption, it's all very real. I live in the middle of the state near Princeton and commute about 90 mins each way into NYC. It's worth it to be further away from N. Jersey. more land and bigger house for a ton less. You'll be shocked to see what you have to pay to live here, especially in the North. That said, there are a lot of pinheads around, plus the shore is really nice if you know where and when to go, and for me I drive east/west to the shore so never any traffic...silverball is 30 mins away.
Personally, I'd suggest bearing the commute and looking about 40-50 miles south and live near a train line (NE Corridor or Jersey Shore line).
Good luck. PM if you have any questions about the area.