Quoted from chris_p:

The Blorpoise is a cross between Blue Whale and a Porpoise. The Blue whale is THE LARGEST WHALE, and the largest animal known to have ever existed! The Blorpoise is only SLIGHTLY smaller - it is BIGGER than most Big Whales, and so JUST WHAT WE NEED. Still $100k sized. Maybe even more - they are REALLY BIG!!!
I don't have a picture, but they are for sure real. They are BIG. Big Blorpoise.
REALLY Big. What? No - they, look I don't have a picture, um, because they are rare. And don't live long.
So the Blorpoise is PERFECT for this - it is BIG. Nearly as Big as the BIGGEST Whale. If a Whale cannot be found in time, ...What? No they don't live long because, well. Two reasons really: The Blorpoise is a full sized BIG Blue Whale, only it's tail is the size of a Porpoise. So a Big Blorpoise has to move it's tail as fast as a hummingbird's wings just to reach the surface to get air. And also...
And also, well, the Blue Whale is a BALEEN filter feeder: The blue whale's diet consists almost exclusively of krill. Baleen is a filter-feeding system inside the mouths of baleen whales. To use baleen, the whale first opens its mouth underwater to take in water. The whale then pushes the water out, and the krill are filtered by the baleen and swalowed. It is estimated that an average-sized blue whale must consume 1,120 ± 359 kilograms (2,469 ± 791 lb) of krill a day.
The Blorpoise, however has small porpoise teeth instead of Baleen. So there are challenges.
Anyway, the Big Blorpoise is PERFECT here because.. what? No. NO!!!! EWWWW! Look, the female Porpoise swims thru the the milky water when a male Blue- listen, it doesnt matter. We just need to start looking around NOW for a Big Blorpoise to take the place of a Whale, so that the project doesn't DIE.
If a Big Whale can't be found, the Big Blorpoise can and will save the day, and we all want that



I think that everyone here is seriously missing the Big Picture - all hung up on the challenges of building this pimped out one of a kind licensed pinball game, ans TOTALLY MISSING just how EPIC this is gonna be!
OK JGW is keeping the actual concept a secret, but we have ENOUGH to read between the lines, and between the lines this pin looks EPIC - seriously this is the whole REASON that JGW keeps laughing at the naysayers. The beer also helps.
Epic Blinged Out, PIMPED OUT, Trailer Park Boys as a theme - this we know. But THINK ABOUT what this REALLY MEANS. I have THONK, and I feel CERTAIN that the PUZZLE Pieces all FIT!
You Guys are all thinking that Pimped Out means, like, GOLD and Platinum - Wrong! WRONG!!!
This is TRAILER PARK BOYS. (disclaimer: never seen it or heard of it before this thread. No plans to ever watch any. But it'll be like the others, the Duck Whistle one or any of the Trash Trope Shows. I live in the South, am familiar). Look I'll let the thread back me up here:
Line 111: (quote line 109: Too early to ask for a piss jug sculpt?)
Already have it in the works. Same with all the beer & alcohol bottles, + weed!
So what does Pimped Out look like in the context of the theme here?
Piss Jug. PISS JUG!!!!! P.I.S.S. J.U.G. !!!
And ALL the beer and alcohol bottles. And weed!



We have all the puzzle pieces right here. And JGW PROMISES that this is gonna be WORTH $100K to our Blorpoise. So let's read between the lines, take this design (err, concept) to the next level, and proJECT what our Big Blorpoise is gonna hear at the BIG (concept) REVEAL. SERIOUSLY this has the potential to be the BEST (trailer trash) PIN ON EARTH. NGL, I hope this goes down just this way.
JGW with a stack of napkins:
Ok, first the Piss Jug. No wait - save the best for last. But it has a Piss Jug!
Now, the playfield will be littered with beer and alcohol bottles. Some spin, some are ball locks. But here's the thing that sets TPB apart - In the backbox...Ok yeah you know those little refrigerators? they make them ANY SIZE now. So the side of the backbox here has a door. And it is a refrigerator, and holds a FULL CASE of 24 cans of beer. Cheap Beer. TRAILER PARK BOYS beer (Keystone Light (smooth like Keith Stone, makes PBR seem top shelf) - the Canadian equivalent to this. Or Steel Reserve. You get the picture).
wait - no this is REALLY AWESOME. Because, because it's TIED INTO the gameplay. There are 12 MODES. And when you unlock each mode, the fridge door pops open, and you have to chug a beer! Shoot the shitbox car here, and it hold the ball for 10 seconds - you gotta grab a beer and chug it! The software will keep track of how many beers are left!
But wait - there's more!
So hahahaha so check THIS: Every mode, every beer you chug, you get that many multi-balls! The first one, the shitbox car just releases the ball. But the second mode - when you chug the beer for that mode, the balls spit out from between the legs - THESE Barbie Doll legs at the top, yeah this is Wanda Hubbard, the teen trailer park single mother who keeps having kids! YEAH! So the multiballs pop out between Wanda's legs!
So six beer's in, and you get SIX BALL MULTIBALL! And there are TWELVE Modes, so you get this awesome twelve ball multiball when you got a pretty good buzz going, and NO OTHER PINBALL is ANYTHING so BLINGED and PIMPED and AWESOME!
But wait! Theres more!!!!! Ok the weed. Check this out!
So the Trailer Park Boys do these crimes. There are FIVE crime modes in addition to the BEER MODES.
Shoot some ramps and whatnot to start each Crime Mode. Like, they break into the Pet store at night and steal a month's supply of Dog Food. Smash and grab the jewelry counter at the pawn shop. Just right out of the show, with callouts and stuff. So Ok, the crimes are hard, you gotta shoot a lot of targets and ramps and stuff, and mostly you fail and get caught. BUT - ok ready? Ok YOU COMPLETE the Crime Mode, and you get WEED!!!
Seriously, like a nug rolls out of the backbox across the playfiled ala Safe Cracker! Just like that, only WEED! Is that not the most EPIC thing EVER? No you don't have to smoke the week in the game, that's like your reward for LATER. I mean, you CAN if you want. Like cradle the ball or something. But no, it's like LOOT for after the game! We might have to do rolled joints, I need to talk to my designer. But for sure it comes out of the backbox!
No one has ever done a game like this! It's ONE OF A KIND and so EPIC! You SEE why, if it goes into FULL PRODUCTION, you see why it won't have ALL the BLING? Dave Fix told me that maybe we COULD maybe do the beer tho! Or Pepsi, like if it gets rethemed as Talledega Nights - I shouldn't have said that, that's just something Dave and me talked about.



Ok I know what you are wondering about. The PISS JUG! Best part of the game.
The Piss Jug makes this the most Trailer Park Boys pinball possible.
Here's the deal. You know how on your last ball and you drain, some games taunt you: You Suck! or HA HA! or Bad Move Human! OK when you drain you last ball of THIS game - you LAST ball, game OVER, you DRAIN the LAST ball, and the Piss Jug - hahahahaha - Ok there is a windshild washer motor hooked up to the Piss Jug, and it....LOL....it PISSES out the COIN DOOR, Right IN YOUR CROTCH! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Real piss, too. What a scream, right? No other pinball machine in the history of pinball has ever done anything CLOSE! The most memorable game ever, EVERYONE will know about this game - I honestly think you could probably sell if for like $500K once a Big Whale sees the actuall game. Every book about pinball, every history will talk about it. It was the FIRST!!!!
Oh wait - there's more! Ok so the Piss Jug actually has like a holding jug inside the cabinet. On the SIDE of the cabinet, right HERE - the shitbox car has a REAL Gas Filler door that opens. And you remove the cap! And put your hose RIGHT IN and fill it! (note: If the Big Blorpoise is a gurl, the Piss Filler will be modified to...ok who we kidding, it's NOT gonna be a GIRL spending $100k on this). See the inscriptions? Right outta the show! "Did you Pump Ethyl?" and "Filled Her Up!" and hey, having this feature nearby after a long game is really handy, because all that beer you are gonna chug while playing!!!!



THE SAGA CONTUNUES
ok we can skip ahead to TPF and SXSW now. There is no possbile way that a Big Blorpoise who was interested enough to make the call is gonna pass on this machine. It is indeed totally worth $100k. It fast becomes the most INFAMOUS pinball machine EVER BUILT, pissing on people at TPF is genius marketing (think Ozzy Osbourne). The video of that one poor crying girl, and the TPS guy screaming and HEALTH VIOLATION! and cutting off the power cord, JGW yelling about the BEER getting warm and how is he going to show the FEATURES - goes viral and gets it's own Best of Pinside entry.
And if Beech would make some Go Pro's of that Chartered Tour bus driving maybe into the actual SXSW downtown and JGW trying to cajole K-Holed festival victims and X-ed out party people who traveled all the way there to see MUSIC to come only 5 minute's drive to his brothers house to check out this pimped out Trailer Trash Guys (he couldn't actually secure the license) pinball machine, that would just be cherry on top greatness.
The game is awesome, the game is worth the $100K. We need to find our Big Blorpoise and get it built!
Oh and find a designer. And artists and...

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

That was the best post of ideas so far. Some are a little over the top! Like no whale wants real piss jugs in their home.

Quoted from chris_p:

SERIOUSLY this has the potential to be the BEST (trailer trash) PIN ON EARTH. NGL, I hope this goes down just this way.

Quoted from jeffspinballpalace:

a renounced designer

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

That was the best post of ideas so far. Some are a little over the top! Like no whale wants real piss jugs in their home. Yes it is 1 pimped out big whale game, or 3 mini whale games (same game for all 3), or dead for TPB on September 1 if no investors step up.
I do have the ability to assemble 1 or 3 pinball machines by myself. Like I have said the elentronics will be sourced from the usual vendors.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

Yes I do. But the problem is you have to find that one investor that believes & wants that title. There is still another 2 weeks to go. Still on the hunt for that one person that has no problems with $100k US purchase. The bar is set extremely high!

Quoted from 27dnast:

Wait.
That’s the problem, here?!?!?

Quoted from Haymaker:

Doesn't PETA have a ship that they send out to stop whalers? Maybe this is what is causing the lack of interest in this project

Quoted from wcbrandes:

I'm guessing the whale is providing 100k in Canadian currency rather than the over hyped American currency?

Quoted from benheck:

It's actually paid for by one of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I guess they love whales?

Quoted from wcbrandes:

I'm guessing the whale is providing 100k in Canadian currency rather than the over hyped American currency?

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

Mini Whales do not get that expensive talent.

Quoted from Haymaker:Its gotta be Anthony Kiedis, Flea has smaller fish to fry

He's asking for USD but I think he'd accept Canadian if that was what was available. Pintasia 2.0 perhaps? This is a great business opportunity, Bill!

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

That is the type of whale I need. A rich band member to save my dream project.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

That is the type of whale I need. A rich band member to save my dream project.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

No in US$, for the big whale the old talent from pinball past will be back to design & do art. Mini Whales do not get that expensive talent.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

Lots of old talent still working in pinball. Still doing lots of great work after 40+ years. Many retired talent from pinball past that might like a paying private short term project. The big whale has to be found very soon though.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

Lots of old talent still working in pinball. Still doing lots of great work after 40+ years.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

Many retired talent from pinball past that might like a paying private short term project.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

The big whale has to be found very soon though.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

Lets see if you bought a $300k US car, & think you would get the same quality & build for one at $30k US. I learned from the Deeproot Pinball Fiasco, maybe have a look back.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

I learned from the Deeproot Pinball Fiasco, maybe have a look back.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

Lets see if you bought a $300k US car, & think you would get the same quality & build for one at $30k US.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:As always my phone is on, & ready to talk

Quoted from Gornkleschnitzer:

You can easily build one game for 10K or less.
Yourself. With a massive skill set, and a huge personal time expense that you value at $0. Here are some of the resources you need to build an entire machine yourself:
1. Woodworking, cabinet construction, painting/decaling. Or you can buy a fresh new prebuilt cabinet; VirtuaPin makes them, but it'll run you nearly $1K at the moment.
2. Game design and theory. You need to know not only how to create a physical layout that incorporates all desired features with the appropriate amount of engagement and flow, but how to lay out rules that keep players interested. I can't speak for all Big Whales(tm), but if I was dropping ten grand (or, y'know, a hundred) on a one-off pinball machine, I would want a genuinely fun experience that I can share with my friends.
3. Creation of printed playfield. For some of us, this is a struggle that will have to be outsourced - looking at myself in the mirror on this one. This particular skill, however, is one that GWJ is known to have, and indeed it's quite valuable knowledge - setting aside the repro situation that went sour.
4. Assembly of playfield and cabinet. Arguably one of the easier tasks, but it still requires a lot of attention to the designer's (your) intentions and making sure things fit properly, especially those elements that be arranged at different angles but need to fit around other components. Flipper baseplates and pop bumper spoon switches are well-known offenders.
5. Electrical wiring. High-voltage switching comes with many reliability pitfalls, and you need to design your wiring system in a way that reduces or eliminates interference, usually also allowing for future maintenance down the road. A high-dollar investor will want to know his game will not become an unmaintainable mess.
6. Electronics systems design. Wiring alone is not enough; one end goes to playfield devices, but the other end is going to plug into something complex that controls everything. There are off-the-shelf controller solutions that can do all this work, but they'll run you several hundred dollars at least, if not another thousand for a whole fleet of electronics. If you're an exceptionally insane person who loves the feeling of doing everything from scratch and is more than likely somewhere on the autism spectrum, you could design your entire electronic control system from scratch on custom boards - which requires its own set of skills. You can't get out of heavy computer use if you're doing this, unless you can do PCB fab on pencil and paper and don't plan to use any silicon in your design. Which is unlikely.
7. Artistic talents. There is a stereotype that people who are good at computer programming aren't very good at art. Plenty of exceptions exist, people who are brilliant at both. But as someone with very little skill in drawing people, I am outsourcing my current build's art, just as I had to do with the cabinet art on my first one. Artwork is very much an integral part of the pinball experience; it is, after all, the first thing that attracts players to the game. And you definitely want the best art you can get if you want TPB to be "pimped out." Good artists do not work for free and shouldn't be asked to do so.
8. Sound and music composition. While your "licensed" game might offer you a fair amount of music thanks to original soundtracks, it won't get you all the way as far as a game goes. As a player, I expect audio feedback from every shot or target, otherwise the game feels dead to play. Not all sound effects make sense to rip directly from a TV show; it's going to take some custom work. Music is very much its own art, and good musicians and sound engineers are not free either. Lacking my own musical talent, my current project outsources its music to a good friend who has years of experience both operating sound equipment for bands and playing it himself. And no, it's not free - I paid him my Firepower in exchange for it.
9. Computer programming. There are software solutions for clicking together a game without needing to write actual code, but there are limits to how much you can do with such a system. A pimped-out game definitely needs custom code that pulls together the physical and the visual, and keeps everything smooth and pleasant to look at.
There's probably a lot more, but for a garage build, this is what I could think of off the top of my head. Like I said, it can be done... but it's hard, much harder than it might seem, and most of us aren't given a budget for free. If you don't have every single one of these skills, you need to seek out others who do (as you seem to be doing). For a $10K budget per game, there's no way you'll be able to hire anyone with marketable skills to design and build the games, and even the original goal is stretching it thin. That's not even counting the legal issues of paying contractors to design and build something you don't have a license for.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

SXSW & TPF March 2023, is a very strong possibility with 3 mini whale investors at $10k US.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

I have a strong feeling that FOMO, will start August 1.

Quoted from greatwichjohn:

Also there is a group of local pinball owners that are interested. So my best advice to anyone interested at $10k US, to send me a private pm. Get on the list to see if you get in on the TPB build for prototypes.

Quoted from jackd104:

So true. My friend Lin has been working on his Haunted Cruise home brew for 10 years. He is at the point where everything is custom engineered (even designed the boards from scratch). It’s a passion for him, not trying to make a buck or get it produced. But yeah if you want to make something buckle down and make it. This scheme is a bass ackwards and ignoble way to go about it.

Quoted from Rarehero:

A brand new pinball machine CANNOT be designed, with art, animation, sound, and coded for $30k & built x3 in 6 months. Even if it was being led by a professional. Designed and built by a drunken fool & old retired pinball people? Never happening.

Fear of missing out on WHAT? You don't have a license, you don't have people locked in, you barely seem to understand the basic realities of being human. I'm kind of perplexed that you even know how to get on Pinside & write.

AKA a group of people who are F'ing with you. Granted, the Deeproot buyers were gullible fools, but I can't imagine any of them would be so stupid to try this again with YOU of all people. Maybe there are 3 absolute morons with another $10k to throw into the trash.