Who?

Same game, just one has a $90K topper

You might be better off getting in contact with the TPB as soon as you can. What is the legality of using their name and recognition on here? I really hope this works out for you, because I actually think this would be a great theme for a pinball machine. Good luck.

Frankemfurter, the old troll for those that had been around the RGP days. Could be...

You got me. I’m back in.

Speaking of toppers, I’m working on one for Cactus Canyon and I can say for certain it goes into production or it dies! Although I did the funding, design, production, mechanics and paint and assembly myself so it’s not really the same thing as John.

2BFC4A6A-4C64-46DE-BE12-98A6F035FF05 (resized).jpeg

Is it better for GWJ to build one custom pinball for a whale at a cost of $100k or to build ten versions of same custom pinball for ten mini-whales at $10k each? I am going to think out loud.

If GWJ requires $90k profit, he would pursue plan A. If GWJ requires $0 profit, he would build ten games @$10k. Nobody wants to give GWJ $90k charity on an undefined and non-designed game. Do ten people believe GWJ could build and deliver a custom game with theme of his choosing? No they do not, as John doesn’t have the necessary experience.

So maybe the goals are wrongly defined. I see GWJ going everyday to the pub or drinking at home. I will estimate he enjoys drinking 12 beers a day and put the cost at $10. GWJ will be busy for 12 months trying to fulfill his pinball obligation so I estimate he will drink $3,650 of piss/beer. So wouldn’t it be easier to start a gofundme for drinking money and ask for donations of $50 or less to reach a goal of $3,650? That one could possibly attract some money and it would be realistic. In the end you wouldn’t have made any games but you also wouldn’t have taken and wasted $100k.

OK so now it's making 3 copies of a custom pin, in six months, for 30k total?

John shouldn't your business plans get better, not more stupid? As I've said you've learned NOTHING from the past decade, you're now proposing an even stupider version of the Jpop Magic Girl "business model"

Your best bet is to find someone to give you 10k out of pity and make a game in your garage.

You're doing a worse job of this than those fake beggars at intersections with new shoes, a pet dog and 3 bags of takeout garbage at their feet.

If you have experienced death wobble before then you know. Haha, so scary!

You weren't being reasonable my guy, you were just karening it up yelling for the manager to lock the thread. Don't deprive us of our entertainment.

Yes I prefer the $100k US single big whale, or just 3 mini whales for a homebrew TPB pin. You will get what you pay for, either pro talent for a single big whale, or a working pin with much less. The way this is going might see nothing (it dies September 1).

Deadly serious on my timeline. The phone line is open as always for people with any serious interest to call 902-402-7188

You can easily build one game for 10K or less.

Yourself. With a massive skill set, and a huge personal time expense that you value at $0. Here are some of the resources you need to build an entire machine yourself:

1. Woodworking, cabinet construction, painting/decaling. Or you can buy a fresh new prebuilt cabinet; VirtuaPin makes them, but it'll run you nearly $1K at the moment.
2. Game design and theory. You need to know not only how to create a physical layout that incorporates all desired features with the appropriate amount of engagement and flow, but how to lay out rules that keep players interested. I can't speak for all Big Whales(tm), but if I was dropping ten grand (or, y'know, a hundred) on a one-off pinball machine, I would want a genuinely fun experience that I can share with my friends.
3. Creation of printed playfield. For some of us, this is a struggle that will have to be outsourced - looking at myself in the mirror on this one. This particular skill, however, is one that GWJ is known to have, and indeed it's quite valuable knowledge - setting aside the repro situation that went sour.
4. Assembly of playfield and cabinet. Arguably one of the easier tasks, but it still requires a lot of attention to the designer's (your) intentions and making sure things fit properly, especially those elements that be arranged at different angles but need to fit around other components. Flipper baseplates and pop bumper spoon switches are well-known offenders.
5. Electrical wiring. High-voltage switching comes with many reliability pitfalls, and you need to design your wiring system in a way that reduces or eliminates interference, usually also allowing for future maintenance down the road. A high-dollar investor will want to know his game will not become an unmaintainable mess.
6. Electronics systems design. Wiring alone is not enough; one end goes to playfield devices, but the other end is going to plug into something complex that controls everything. There are off-the-shelf controller solutions that can do all this work, but they'll run you several hundred dollars at least, if not another thousand for a whole fleet of electronics. If you're an exceptionally insane person who loves the feeling of doing everything from scratch and is more than likely somewhere on the autism spectrum, you could design your entire electronic control system from scratch on custom boards - which requires its own set of skills. You can't get out of heavy computer use if you're doing this, unless you can do PCB fab on pencil and paper and don't plan to use any silicon in your design. Which is unlikely.
7. Artistic talents. There is a stereotype that people who are good at computer programming aren't very good at art. Plenty of exceptions exist, people who are brilliant at both. But as someone with very little skill in drawing people, I am outsourcing my current build's art, just as I had to do with the cabinet art on my first one. Artwork is very much an integral part of the pinball experience; it is, after all, the first thing that attracts players to the game. And you definitely want the best art you can get if you want TPB to be "pimped out." Good artists do not work for free and shouldn't be asked to do so.
8. Sound and music composition. While your "licensed" game might offer you a fair amount of music thanks to original soundtracks, it won't get you all the way as far as a game goes. As a player, I expect audio feedback from every shot or target, otherwise the game feels dead to play. Not all sound effects make sense to rip directly from a TV show; it's going to take some custom work. Music is very much its own art, and good musicians and sound engineers are not free either. Lacking my own musical talent, my current project outsources its music to a good friend who has years of experience both operating sound equipment for bands and playing it himself. And no, it's not free - I paid him my Firepower in exchange for it.
9. Computer programming. There are software solutions for clicking together a game without needing to write actual code, but there are limits to how much you can do with such a system. A pimped-out game definitely needs custom code that pulls together the physical and the visual, and keeps everything smooth and pleasant to look at.

There's probably a lot more, but for a garage build, this is what I could think of off the top of my head. Like I said, it can be done... but it's hard, much harder than it might seem, and most of us aren't given a budget for free. If you don't have every single one of these skills, you need to seek out others who do (as you seem to be doing). For a $10K budget per game, there's no way you'll be able to hire anyone with marketable skills to design and build the games, and even the original goal is stretching it thin. That's not even counting the legal issues of paying contractors to design and build something you don't have a license for.

Oh, Sandwich PREFERS $100k, everyone! Thank goodness we know his preferred scam!

So now you’re making The Big Lebowski? Did your scary business acumen allow you to swipe the license from DP?

Wow, basically a guarantee that you get a piece of shit. You’re the worst pitchman of all time.

YA THINK?!?!?!
Just stop now & delete your account.

Just have buy-in rates:

Pro - minimal features with "Mini Whale" placard - 10k

Premium - almost all features - "Whale" placard - 50k

LE - loaded custom game with "The Greatwich Big Whale" placard - 100k

I trust each customer would at least recieve the placard.

He’ll have to call his contractors to verify that the placard can be delivered before TPF.

Sorry that is the second time I used TBL, should be TPB. I was out with my friends last night enjoying a nice summer night with multiple of my favorite beverages. Sorry no premium, no middle whale choice.

Got that covered already. Not a art or color expert.

Damn. I was contemplating being a middle whale. Guess I'll have to spend my money elsewhere...

*Crickets*

Drop the "art or color" and you would finally be telling the truth.

I cannot save all the whales by myself!

You are doing a great job, just keeping pitching and whales will be saved!

Thanks: Maybe my whale needs glasses to see my phone number.

Of the many problems foreseen by all on this thread, the funniest flub is plan B (or C). In it you will build multiple copies of one game, right? Now if someone ponies up $10k for a theme, they 100% want and expect to pick the theme. They probably want a dream theme and there is no telling what it may be. So whether you have 10 mini-whales or 3 micro-whales, how do you get everybody to select the same theme?

Can’t let people suggest their dreams and then disappoint either 9 or 2 of the customers by ignoring their wants. Now if you decided on the theme first and then advertised, you’d encounter the right people for an audience. However, your idea of TPB is a good start but I don’t think there is a big enough fan base to find 10 investors. Shark week would, but that is not your plan. Going to grab some popcorn and take a power nap.

Whale Pinball Inc.:

Whales can have any theme they want as long as it’s trailer park boys.

Yes, yes, we’re well aware of your alcoholism. Constantly reminding everyone surely will trick someone into thinking you’re competent to lead a 100k pinball machine build.

Now, delete your account.

greatwichjohn here is exactly where the problem lies. Right now, your begging for $100K is no different than Zidware, Skit B & Heighway. They were all selling an idea that never went past prototypes. Here you are trying to sell an idea with a timeline to produce 1 single machine that none of the previously mentioned clowns could even produce. If the three of them had actually came through..... I bet your search would have actually landed you someone willing to take a huge risk for a rare machine. I leave Deeproot out of this because that is a class of scam of totally different proportions.

John, do I believe you are a scam artist? Of course not. No one here does. Do we all believe that your thought process is incredibly flawed and highly skewed, oh yeah, 100% yes. You have an idea that you want to prove to yourself and everyone else on someone else's dime. You do not have a tangible product to sell, just an idea with an improbable timeline. You are looking for a "whale"? No! You are looking for the equivalent of a Sugar Daddy. No, I am not suggesting you become a male prostitute. Well, it is Halifax, you guys up in the Maritimes....

No one here cares that you have talked to David Fix. So what? That doesn't make your plan viable. I used to have lunch with Ousler, Nordmann and Trudeau before Deeproot and John's Jail term. I ran ideas by them too, specifically Ousler & Trudeau for different type of lock n load mechanisms. Hell, maybe one of my ideas ended up on those Deeproot protos? Can't tell. It sure as hell doesn't qualify me as a designer or builder. Whales are specific group of rich people within the gaming industry, be it in casinos or online gaming. Pinball? Not so much.

So please, just stop it already(with the whole whale bit). Call a spade a spade, you are looking for a gift.

I might have missed it, but what's with the September 1st deadline? If a whale shows up on September 2nd, the deals off?

Or a sales, marketing, or common sense expert either.

Its DEAD!

"All whales matter "

$10k may still be more than most people are willing to risk.

Why not offer a 'guppy' tier at $2k and just make 20 machines. Easy peasy!

The whale body shaming on this thread is reprehensible.

Doug

Sorry about the delayed response to your comment. - Thanks for reminding me of who and what you are.

And Plan D is "it dies" correct? Why not just fast forward to that?

I think it is already on that fast track

The Wholphin is a cross between a Whale and a Dolphin.

They are too small tho for this endeavor.

Here is a picture:

wholphin (resized).jpg

The Narluga is a cross between a Narwhal and a Beluga.

Larger than the Wholphin, but still too small.

Here is a picture:

narluga (resized).jpg

The Blorpoise is a cross between Blue Whale and a Porpoise. The Blue whale is THE LARGEST WHALE, and the largest animal known to have ever existed! The Blorpoise is only SLIGHTLY smaller - it is BIGGER than most Big Whales, and so JUST WHAT WE NEED. Still $100k sized. Maybe even more - they are REALLY BIG!!!

I don't have a picture, but they are for sure real. They are BIG. Big Blorpoise.

REALLY Big. What? No - they, look I don't have a picture, um, because they are rare. And don't live long.

So the Blorpoise is PERFECT for this - it is BIG. Nearly as Big as the BIGGEST Whale. If a Whale cannot be found in time, ...What? No they don't live long because, well. Two reasons really: The Blorpoise is a full sized BIG Blue Whale, only it's tail is the size of a Porpoise. So a Big Blorpoise has to move it's tail as fast as a hummingbird's wings just to reach the surface to get air. And also...

And also, well, the Blue Whale is a BALEEN filter feeder: The blue whale's diet consists almost exclusively of krill. Baleen is a filter-feeding system inside the mouths of baleen whales. To use baleen, the whale first opens its mouth underwater to take in water. The whale then pushes the water out, and the krill are filtered by the baleen and swalowed. It is estimated that an average-sized blue whale must consume 1,120 ± 359 kilograms (2,469 ± 791 lb) of krill a day.

The Blorpoise, however has small porpoise teeth instead of Baleen. So there are challenges.

Anyway, the Big Blorpoise is PERFECT here because.. what? No. NO!!!! EWWWW! Look, the female Porpoise swims thru the the milky water when a male Blue- listen, it doesnt matter. We just need to start looking around NOW for a Big Blorpoise to take the place of a Whale, so that the project doesn't DIE.

If a Big Whale can't be found, the Big Blorpoise can and will save the day, and we all want that


.

I think that everyone here is seriously missing the Big Picture - all hung up on the challenges of building this pimped out one of a kind licensed pinball game, ans TOTALLY MISSING just how EPIC this is gonna be!

OK JGW is keeping the actual concept a secret, but we have ENOUGH to read between the lines, and between the lines this pin looks EPIC - seriously this is the whole REASON that JGW keeps laughing at the naysayers. The beer also helps.

Epic Blinged Out, PIMPED OUT, Trailer Park Boys as a theme - this we know. But THINK ABOUT what this REALLY MEANS. I have THONK, and I feel CERTAIN that the PUZZLE Pieces all FIT!

You Guys are all thinking that Pimped Out means, like, GOLD and Platinum - Wrong! WRONG!!!

This is TRAILER PARK BOYS. (disclaimer: never seen it or heard of it before this thread. No plans to ever watch any. But it'll be like the others, the Duck Whistle one or any of the Trash Trope Shows. I live in the South, am familiar). Look I'll let the thread back me up here:

Line 111: (quote line 109: Too early to ask for a piss jug sculpt?)
Already have it in the works. Same with all the beer & alcohol bottles, + weed!

So what does Pimped Out look like in the context of the theme here?

Piss Jug. PISS JUG!!!!! P.I.S.S. J.U.G. !!!

And ALL the beer and alcohol bottles. And weed!


.

We have all the puzzle pieces right here. And JGW PROMISES that this is gonna be WORTH $100K to our Blorpoise. So let's read between the lines, take this design (err, concept) to the next level, and proJECT what our Big Blorpoise is gonna hear at the BIG (concept) REVEAL. SERIOUSLY this has the potential to be the BEST (trailer trash) PIN ON EARTH. NGL, I hope this goes down just this way.

JGW with a stack of napkins:

Ok, first the Piss Jug. No wait - save the best for last. But it has a Piss Jug!

Now, the playfield will be littered with beer and alcohol bottles. Some spin, some are ball locks. But here's the thing that sets TPB apart - In the backbox...Ok yeah you know those little refrigerators? they make them ANY SIZE now. So the side of the backbox here has a door. And it is a refrigerator, and holds a FULL CASE of 24 cans of beer. Cheap Beer. TRAILER PARK BOYS beer (Keystone Light (smooth like Keith Stone, makes PBR seem top shelf) - the Canadian equivalent to this. Or Steel Reserve. You get the picture).

wait - no this is REALLY AWESOME. Because, because it's TIED INTO the gameplay. There are 12 MODES. And when you unlock each mode, the fridge door pops open, and you have to chug a beer! Shoot the shitbox car here, and it hold the ball for 10 seconds - you gotta grab a beer and chug it! The software will keep track of how many beers are left!

But wait - there's more!

So hahahaha so check THIS: Every mode, every beer you chug, you get that many multi-balls! The first one, the shitbox car just releases the ball. But the second mode - when you chug the beer for that mode, the balls spit out from between the legs - THESE Barbie Doll legs at the top, yeah this is Wanda Hubbard, the teen trailer park single mother who keeps having kids! YEAH! So the multiballs pop out between Wanda's legs!

So six beer's in, and you get SIX BALL MULTIBALL! And there are TWELVE Modes, so you get this awesome twelve ball multiball when you got a pretty good buzz going, and NO OTHER PINBALL is ANYTHING so BLINGED and PIMPED and AWESOME!

But wait! Theres more!!!!! Ok the weed. Check this out!

So the Trailer Park Boys do these crimes. There are FIVE crime modes in addition to the BEER MODES.

Shoot some ramps and whatnot to start each Crime Mode. Like, they break into the Pet store at night and steal a month's supply of Dog Food. Smash and grab the jewelry counter at the pawn shop. Just right out of the show, with callouts and stuff. So Ok, the crimes are hard, you gotta shoot a lot of targets and ramps and stuff, and mostly you fail and get caught. BUT - ok ready? Ok YOU COMPLETE the Crime Mode, and you get WEED!!!

Seriously, like a nug rolls out of the backbox across the playfiled ala Safe Cracker! Just like that, only WEED! Is that not the most EPIC thing EVER? No you don't have to smoke the weed in the game, that's like your reward for LATER. I mean, you CAN if you want. Like cradle the ball or something. But no, it's like LOOT for after the game! We might have to do rolled joints, I need to talk to my designer. But for sure it comes out of the backbox!

No one has ever done a game like this! It's ONE OF A KIND and so EPIC! You SEE why, if it goes into FULL PRODUCTION, you see why it won't have ALL the BLING? Dave Fix told me that maybe we COULD maybe do the beer tho! Or Pepsi, like if it gets rethemed as Talledega Nights - I shouldn't have said that, that's just something Dave and me talked about.


.

Ok I know what you are wondering about. The PISS JUG! Best part of the game.

The Piss Jug makes this the most Trailer Park Boys pinball possible.

Here's the deal. You know how on your last ball and you drain, some games taunt you: You Suck! or HA HA! or Bad Move Human! OK when you drain you last ball of THIS game - you LAST ball, game OVER, you DRAIN the LAST ball, and the Piss Jug - hahahahaha - Ok there is a windshild washer motor hooked up to the Piss Jug, and it....LOL....it PISSES out the COIN DOOR, Right IN YOUR CROTCH! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Real piss, too. What a scream, right? No other pinball machine in the history of pinball has ever done anything CLOSE! The most memorable game ever, EVERYONE will know about this game - I honestly think you could probably sell if for like $500K once a Big Whale sees the actuall game. Every book about pinball, every history will talk about it. It was the FIRST!!!!

Oh wait - there's more! Ok so the Piss Jug actually has like a holding jug inside the cabinet. On the SIDE of the cabinet, right HERE - the shitbox car has a REAL Gas Filler door that opens. And you remove the cap! And put your hose RIGHT IN and fill it! (note: If the Big Blorpoise is a gurl, the Piss Filler will be modified to...ok who we kidding, it's NOT gonna be a GIRL spending $100k on this). See the inscriptions? Right outta the show! "Did you Pump Ethyl?" and "Filled Her Up!" and hey, having this feature nearby after a long game is really handy, because all that beer you are gonna chug while playing!!!!


.

THE SAGA CONTUNUES

ok we can skip ahead to TPF and SXSW now. There is no possbile way that a Big Blorpoise who was interested enough to make the call is gonna pass on this machine. It is indeed totally worth $100k. It fast becomes the most INFAMOUS pinball machine EVER BUILT, pissing on people at TPF is genius marketing (think Ozzy Osbourne). The video of that one poor crying girl, and the TPF guy screaming and HEALTH VIOLATION! and cutting off the power cord, JGW yelling about the BEER getting warm and how is he going to show the FEATURES - goes viral and gets it's own Best of Pinside entry.

And if Beech would make some Go Pro's of that Chartered Tour bus driving maybe into the actual SXSW downtown and JGW trying to cajole K-Holed festival victims and X-ed out party people who traveled all the way there to see MUSIC to come only 5 minute's drive to his brothers house to check out this pimped out Trailer Trash Guys (he couldn't actually secure the license) pinball machine, that would just be cherry on top greatness.

The game is awesome, the game is worth the $100K. We need to find our Big Blorpoise and get it built!

Oh and find a designer. And artists and...

I think John dumped the idea of ten machines, when pointed out how much more work goes into building ten machines as opposed to one. He then wavered at 5, then 3-5, and now (currently) three.

So I think Plan B is now 3 mini-whales. No Plan C. Is that accurate, John?

Well, 3 custom designed games is nowhere near as productive as deeproot’s promise to deliver 12 - 15 - 20 games. But it does match JPOP’s sale of three pins. Most of the mini-whales “investors” were getting a limited run of an interesting theme from a renounced designer and all paid between $10k to $15k and received nothing. It was a complete cluster f*#k. People were robbed of a custom game by a flacid hukster and he was sued. And he was made fun of and he didn’t have any reasonable business sense. The more I recall from that disaster the more it’s sounding like your plan. Have we not learned anything?

PS - Aside from legal issues of not having a license, lack of a basic business plan and no experience designing and building a game, you are seeking payment in full for 10, 5, 3 or 1 games that will satisfy those customers.

When someone promises to deliver 10 then 5 then 3 pins, as if the number had no meaning, there is none and history says the person won’t be able to deliver one pin.

By the time I finish reading all that, this idea and this thread will have been tits up for weeks.

LOL - <tldr> It has a piss jug. that's the "bling".

That's probably funny, or informative, or helpful, or something.
But I'm not reading all that.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

prolly not. I enjoyed writing it tho. see tldr above.