Oh come on. If we are going to get this thread off the rails we have to try harder.

The way to handle the situation is to get a fresh slice of pizza. While the cheese is still lava hot slap it on the back of his neck. While he's trying to get enough ice out of the soda machine to stop the pain you can slip in a quick game.

As a bonus be sure to ask him to stop screaming or he's going to have to pay for your next game.

Seriously, if you don't ask you won't get. But be nice and ask if he's going to be here a while can you slip in 'one' game. Otherwise he might be afraid if he steps aside you might be the one hogging the game for a while. And you don't waste a slice of pizza.

Shouldn't you also post a clandestine picture of him from behind to go along with the story?

In a free play setting I would just hold the start button and start a fresh game. He's not losing his dollar.

If he said something I would say "Sorry, no one was here" and keep playing.
If he mentions his ball was in the shooter lane I'd say "you get lots of that in a free play location".
If he continued I'd say "you did your dick move and now I'm doing mine".

Nothing he could do without getting thrown out.