What he is talking about is nothing new. Negotiation is all about having your cup running over with things that mean little to you that you can throw away. Your opponent, if he is smart, is going to have some throw away items, as well. Like, I don't really care about items A and B but item C is damn well going to stay. My opponent can't stand Item C buy really wants item A. We haggle. We bluff. We keep our cards in close. Eventually, A and C stay and B goes away. We talk A and C. We talk up B with no A and no C. We trade B be away and start pushing for C. blah-blah-blah. We did not compromise. You want this? You are going to have to give me this. Have a bucket full of items you can throw away.
Unions and companies do this all the time. Ask for the moon and negotiate to get two extra days of vacation each year.
This is a rather simplistic explanation, but don't give up anything unless you get something in return.
In this guy's example of the brown shoe-black shoe compromise. Don't compromise; Tell the old lady you will wear the black shoes if you get laid two or three extra times this coming week and see how much she wants you to wear those black shoes
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In a like vein, when in business, the legal community will tell you to never apologize. No matter how minor or egregious your fault or mistake is---never apologize. Screw up in business and the lawyers will come. If you have apologized, then you have admitted wrong doing on your part and you are going to get hit with a lawsuit and the apology has weakened your position.
(edited by mod team)