It's time for us "left-handed people" to rise up and fight the injustice and inequality! I think our government should step in and bring equality to all of us "left-handed people"!
Pinballs should have a CHOICE of left hand or right hand plungers
Pinballs should have a CHOICE of left or right hand coin door locks!
Stores should have to carry BOTH right and left hand can openers
Schools should provide left-hand spiral notebooks
The Dictionary should change the definition of "Left" to "when someone or something is correct- it is "Left" not "Right".

Seeing that there's a trend with being Transgender or Transracial, I've decided to be "Transhanded".
I will no longer go by the name "Lefty". I am now calling myself "Righty" as I will now be playing pinball right-handed.
I have resigned as president of the L.U.S.T. chapter (Lefthanders Under Suppressive Tyranny)

I'll be appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair and interviewed by the Today show.

Please don't judge me