The story is absolutely insane...but the manner in which the OP so eloquently describes the story in such vivid detail is what makes it for me.
I can see myself coming back to reread this gem a few more times.
(Topic ID: 96561)
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Star Trek: The Next Generation
Williams, 1993
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Neenah, WI
Quoted from Arcade:Still the best Pinside post ever.
Even better then the pinball lessons and Shasta.
I agree completely. The Shasta and lesson thread was funny but more of a joke than this. This one is funny but the fact that is true just makes it that much more.
Just read the story can’t believe OP didn’t bring a hand truck and I can imagine how hard it was to man handle it out to the truck.
Would have been nice to see some pictures of the house etc. but phone battery was inconveniently low. That’s one thing I can’t figure about the story because companion didn’t have phone is odd to me and I’m a nut about charging my phone so I’d never forget my charger. Also a lot of gas stations sell car charges. So to me the idea of two people with one phone between them is hard to believe on top of no battery just adds a layer of implausibly.
I’d have left as soon as I saw the house, not worth getting potentially killed or robbed.
1 week later
Hey the thread lives again.
Game is still in my collection. Smell of death left it after the first year. It's sitting next to my dungeons and dragons from a craiglist abandon/ storage house and a getaway from another Craig's list from a closed bar next to a cement factory in a bad part of town. Still need to fix the board on that one.
My craigslist adventures have been on hold last few years.
As to some of the new comments, yeah forgot the dolly leaving super early and 4 to 5 years ago phones not everyone had cell phones. Nowadays I have back up chargers and battery. Back then I only used it mainly for work.
I did try looking up the place on Google earth but can't see anything since it was all over grown.
Funny thing is I just told the story to a cousin who was asking where I got sttng from and found the post revive.
As for my writings, I thought they we were pretty good for a sitting and no proof reading.
Shrugs, to each in their own way
Quoted from CoffinStuffer:Hey the thread lives again.
Game is still in my collection. Smell of death left it after the first year. It's sitting next to my dungeons and dragons from a craiglist abandon/ storage house and a getaway from another Craig's list from a closed bar next to a cement factory in a bad part of town. Still need to fix the board on that one.
My craigslist adventures have been on hold last few years.
As to some of the new comments, yeah forgot the dolly leaving super early and 4 to 5 years ago phones not everyone had cell phones. Nowadays I have back up chargers and battery. Back then I only used it mainly for work.
I did try looking up the place on Google earth but can't see anything since it was all over grown.
Funny thing is I just told the story to a cousin who was asking where I got sttng from and found the post revive.
As for my writings, I thought they we were pretty good for a sitting and no proof reading.
Shrugs, to each in their own way
Your writing and story telling was excellent. Some on pinside always need to complain about something. Your post was outstanding.
Quoted from s1500:I can only imagine the residence was not unlike the drug family in the episode of Breaking Bad(the one where they try to bust open an ATM).
good comparison. I can see it.
Oh yeah, interminable paragraphs (it was originally all one paragraph!), willy nilly verb tense shifts, incorrect homonyms, repetition... Great writing, hey!
An editor would hand it back angrily in about ten seconds.
Great story, though! Very creative descriptions, I'll give you that. But that isn't all there is to "outstanding" writing.
Go ahead, downvote me and advertise how you just don't get it, I'll never see them anyway. Publicly disagreeing with obviously correct criticism is really intelligent. I simply noted, even as I complimented its charm, that it was poor writing. I'm not the one who made a big deal out of it. Stating a fact is not complaining. I do realize I expect too much, but like Jim Jefferies says, I think we can all do better.
It could have been a lot outstandinger! (That's a jo, I say, that's a joke, son!)
Quoted from DanQverymuch:Oh yeah, interminable paragraphs (it was originally all one paragraph!), willy nilly verb tense shifts, incorrect homonyms, repetition... Great writing, hey!
An editor would hand it back angrily in about ten seconds.
Great story, though! Very creative descriptions, I'll give you that. But that isn't all there is to "outstanding" writing.
Go ahead, downvote me and advertise how you just don't get it, I'll never see them anyway. Publicly disagreeing with obviously correct criticism is really intelligent. I simply noted, even as I complimented its charm, that it was poor writing. I'm not the one who made a big deal out of it. Stating a fact is not complaining. I do realize I expect too much, but like Jim Jefferies says, I think we can all do better.
It could have been a lot outstandinger! (That's a jo, I say, that's a joke, son!)
You must be a hit at parties.
Quoted from DanQverymuch:..
Go ahead, downvote me and advertise how you just don't get it, I'll never see them anyway. Publicly disagreeing with obviously correct criticism is really intelligent.
I think people are down voting because this is one of those times when with the old saying “If you can’t say something nice...” holds true.
Quoted from DanQverymuch:Oh yeah, interminable paragraphs (it was originally all one paragraph!), willy nilly verb tense shifts, incorrect homonyms, repetition... Great writing, hey!
An editor would hand it back angrily in about ten seconds.
Great story, though! Very creative descriptions, I'll give you that. But that isn't all there is to "outstanding" writing.
Go ahead, downvote me and advertise how you just don't get it, I'll never see them anyway. Publicly disagreeing with obviously correct criticism is really intelligent. I simply noted, even as I complimented its charm, that it was poor writing. I'm not the one who made a big deal out of it. Stating a fact is not complaining. I do realize I expect too much, but like Jim Jefferies says, I think we can all do better.
It could have been a lot outstandinger! (That's a jo, I say, that's a joke, son!)
You are in Wisconsin. Take 3 Old Fashioned's, 2 Boilermakers, and re-read immediately after. You will find it a well written think piece. Even possibly outstandinger and Imamaculate.
Werribee
Great short story! Scary but hilarious. Congrats on your five hour mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before! And should probably never go again!
Quoted from s1500:I can only imagine the residence was not unlike the drug family in the episode of Breaking Bad(the one where they try to bust open an ATM).
When I read this I was thinking the same thing but waiting for a little dirty redhead kid to appear.
The OP could have used Jesse's trick on the methheads to get his tools back. Just start digging a hole to distract them 
Quoted from dirkdiggler:When I read this I was thinking the same thing but waiting for a little dirty redhead kid to appear.
The OP could have used Jesse's trick on the methheads to get his tools back. Just start digging a hole to distract them
Gotta love Breaking Bad: Those were the other drug addicts in the run-down house. One kept calling for the other's name, Jesse & Mike get in via the 'ol hole diggin' trick.
Yeah, guess I've been lucky. My only remotely close was the guy who gave me the address to his neighbor's house in a duplex. Woman answered, he then answered his door, completed the transaction. No drug addiction.
1 week later
2 years later
Just now discovering this thread, and I gotta say: kudos, five stars, would read again. All-time best pickup story that will never be topped. But I have a couple lingering questions...
Quoted from CoffinStuffer:my eyes bulge as he points to some hanging body bags that were keeping the upstairs and down stairs separated
Quoted from CoffinStuffer:I head for the body bag currently on the stairs and allow my companion up to the pent house.
Like, literal body bags used as room dividers? Empty or full? WTF
4 months later
Well written story but I confession I gave up on read due to the lack of breaks in the paragraphs. Gotta break up the dense copy with some carriage returns.
Seems CoffinStuffer adventure being questioned by some . Solution we all kick in $5 each for gas . He will then promptly launch a reunion road trip . Full video record including seperate one on one interviews with all 3 of the stars in Monroe . Cameo appearance with his wife and nephew. For extra 5$ custom made ODORAMA scratch cards ( google John Waters Polyester if you think I am making this up ) a valid option .
Even if just a story go with it .
Shane
Quoted from Methos:I read it again, and not sure I buy it all. I'm sure that part of it is realistic and its based on a true event, but it is written to generally - without a lot of details provided. Plus it's easy to spot the embellishments.
Thanks
Debbie
1 year later
Quoted from SantaEatsCheese:Bump for those new to pinside, totally worth a read.
This thread is always funny as hell! I can’t believe the amount of people crying about it! Re-write it for the OP if it bothers them so deeply!
1 month later
I re-read this periodically just to convince myself that I’m not the only one things like this happen to.
Love the vivid descriptions, I imagine myself in your situation. That machine is a keeper for sure.
2 years later
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