(Topic ID: 200247)

I need some advice about letting my best buddy go ...


By SUPERBEE

2 years ago



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31
#1 2 years ago

Ive posted many may times about a lot of things good and bad here over the years and i feel like i almost know some folks here like friends and some have actually become real friends and for that i am grateful. I need some advice!! Its 3 am here in the Toronto area and im a mess. My wife is asleep and ive been laying on the floor with one of my best friends in the world. His name is Gizmo and he is the cute guy in my avatar. He is a poodle/bichon mix and is almost 17 years old. We brought him home when he was 8 weeks old and has been without a doubt the most amazing friend a man could have. He has been there with me through just about everything. Layed with my kids in bed as the fell asleep , played ball, layed beside anyone of the family on the couch when they were feeling under the weather as if he knew we needed the extra love during our time of need and has been just an amazing dog. So, he is going down health wise and its been happening for a while now but just today we realize he has some sort or syst, tumour on his groin area and it broke tonight and its bleeding a lot. Its under control and he is ok atm but we are going to take him to the vet tomorrow . He has been slowly losing control of bodily functions (not too bad yet ) but getting there and his sight and hearing are not great. Sorry for the long post and im not even giving you all the positive and negative but all in all i guess i know that the time is coming and im crushed. We will see what the vet says tomorrow but i guess in a nut shell ....I need some advice on how others have dealt with this sort of thing when the time is coming and when do you know its time ? I want to do whats best for him but feel like anything i decided will be just whats best for me. Here is Gizmo mny years ago when my daughter decided to sit him in the sink for a photo.. Thanks for any advice.

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#2 2 years ago

Couple photos of Gizmo years ago with my cat Casmere. Shows how sweet he is !

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#3 2 years ago

Man, I'm so sorry you're going through this. We're going through something similar with our dog of 14 years, and it's been heartbreaking to see her slowly deteriorating. It's true, pets truly do become a part of our families. I hope everything turns out for the best for you tomorrow.

#4 2 years ago

Cherish Gizmo and spoil it while you can.

#5 2 years ago

Thanks japespin, i appreciate your responding. Sounds like you are going through the same thing im am and you feel my pain. Im at such a loss tonight as to how i feel . Im feeling such dread as to what the vet is going to say. I cant describe how much of a friend to me he has been over the years.

#6 2 years ago

Many of us understand what you are going through; this day will happen to us soon or later with our beloved cat.
Laziest cat in the world... and yet we all love her.

#7 2 years ago
Quoted from jlm33:

Cherish Gizmo and spoil it while you can.

Thank you ! Unless you are a pet owner you can never understand.

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#8 2 years ago

So sorry to hear the news about gizmo. We lost our Maggie 13 months ago. I began noticing a few things that weren't normal and decided to bring her to the vet.

I knew the prognosis wasn't going to be good....but still had to go. When we got there, the vet ran some tests and informed us that she had a major cyst rupture inside her and was leaking everywhere. She had no circulation going through her legs and she felt frozen. I went next door to McDonald's and got here a few cheeseburgers.....and sat on the floor of the vets office feeding her and cherishing our last minutes together.

We had to have her put to sleep shortly after she finished her McDonald's. It was THE hardest things I have ever done and the pain of losing a best friend is still felt to this day.

But I took great comfort in knowing that Maggie had a great and happy life. Although she's gone....she will never be forgotten.

#9 2 years ago
Quoted from jlm33:

Laziest cat in the world... and yet we all love her.

Yep! crazy how much we love our pets !

#10 2 years ago

So sorry to hear that time has come for you. Pets are awesome but it’s a trying time when their health fails. It sounds like he had a very full and loving life, take some solace in that.

My only recommendation would be to not immediately replace him as the temptation will be to fill that hole. Allow yourself whatever time you need to properly grieve and then be able to fully welcome a new friend.

#11 2 years ago
Quoted from TheHueManatee:

So sorry to hear the news about gizmo. We lost our Maggie 13 months ago. I began noticing a few things that weren't normal and decided to bring her to the vet.

I knew the prognosis wasn't going to be good....but still had to go. When we got there, the vet ran some tests and informed us that she had a major cyst rupture inside her and was leaking everywhere. She had no circulation going through her legs and she felt frozen. I went next door to McDonald's and got here a few cheeseburgers.....and sat on the floor of the vets office feeding her and cherishing our last minutes together.

We had to have her put to sleep shortly after she finished her McDonald's. It was THE hardest things I have ever done and the pain of losing a best friend is still felt to this day.

But I took great comfort in knowing that Maggie had a great and happy life. Although she's gone....she will never be forgotten.

I honestly just teared up reading this ! Its sooo fucking hard letting go of someone (yes i think a pet is a someone) you really love and i thank you for that post. Must have been so hard to let Maggie go. I feel for you buddy !

#12 2 years ago

Sorry to hear of your situation. Tough to lose a best friend. I have lost a couple(both Great Danes). Mina was my last(my avatar). Still have not gotten over the loss. She was my best friend for the ten years we were together. Best wishes and my sympathies, Joe.

#13 2 years ago
Quoted from merccat:

So sorry to hear that time has come for you. Pets are awesome but it’s a trying time when their health fails. It sounds like he had a very full and loving life, take some solace in that.

My only recommendation would be to not immediately replace him as the temptation will be to fill that hole. Allow yourself whatever time you need to properly grieve and then be able to fully welcome a new friend.

Thanks soo much. We have another dog who is still young and my wife says we will get another but i agree that we will wait.
I still dont know if tomorrow will be the day to put Gizzy down but i know if its not it will be coming soon. Im just so torn on how you make that decision... live or die.... today or tomorrow... fuck !!!

#14 2 years ago

My first real loss when I was young was our 12 yr old family mutt.
Not easy decision next few days but sounds like a great life.
Just keep him comfortable, you'll know.

#15 2 years ago
Quoted from Minabluemerle:

Sorry to hear of your situation. Tough to lose a best friend. I have lost a couple(both Great Danes). Mina was my last(my avatar). Still have not gotten over the loss. She was my best friend for the ten years we were together. Best wishes and my sympathies, Joe.

You feel my pain... TY

#16 2 years ago

True love is knowing when to let go.
Sounds like you have given him the absolute best life and as a final act of love let him sleep painlessly in peace.
I feel for you Bro.
Think of your mate first.

#17 2 years ago
Quoted from SUPERBEE:

I honestly just teared up reading this ! Its sooo fucking hard letting go of someone (yes i think a pet is a someone) you really love and i thank you for that post. Must have been so hard to let Maggie go. I feel for you buddy !

No problem for the post.

And although it was a very hard decision, I knew it was the right one. We trust our vet and when she said it was time.....we knew it was time.

#18 2 years ago

There's a lot of suffering in the world right now - even as close as Puerto Rico.

You did the very best to make your pet happy over his life and minimize his suffering at the end.

All of us should be so lucky.

#19 2 years ago
Quoted from SUPERBEE:

put Gizzy down but i know if its not it will be coming soon.

Not putting down, letting them rest peacefully

#20 2 years ago
Quoted from Vdrums:

All of us should be so lucky.

I so Agree ! Everyone hould feel the love of a animal.

Quoted from oldskool1969:

Not putting down, letting them rest peacefully

Couldnt have said it better ! Thanks for that.

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#21 2 years ago

Here Is my buddy Gizmo right now. He finally settled down under my Haunted House. Poor guy has a diaper on. Im just soo crushed !!!
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#22 2 years ago

Its Almost 4:30 am and i need to crash so im going to take him up to bed with me and see what the vet says tomorrow. Thanks so much for all the responses . Ill keep you posted on what happens guys.

#23 2 years ago

It's always tough to see the decline of a furry companion's heath in their old age.

All you can do is try to make them as comfortable as possible after seeing the vet. There usually aren't a whole lot of treatment options for the symptoms old age, unfortunately.

#24 2 years ago

The problem with owning an amazing pet is that they get to spend their entire life with you, but unfortunately you’re not as lucky to do the same.

I agree with some of the above sentiments.
Take tons of pics and spoil them while you can! When the time does come to lay them to rest, make it an awesome day for your pup (and you). Take a walk in their favorite spots, feed them whatever the hell they want, (that they normally shouldn’t eat lol) and celebrate their life. Hang in there buddy. We’re here for ya.

#25 2 years ago

I'm sorry to hear your best friend is doing poorly. We lost what I always called Daddy's baby girl (Dinky) a couple years back after 16 yrs of sharing our lives together and it is tough when you must face this moment. I cried a lot after having lost her but, I also knew I had to be unselfish for her an allow her to pass peacefully with the ones she loved and trusted around her. I don't envy you as I know how it hurts but, truth is your buddy never needed you more in life than he does now.

#26 2 years ago

Had to deal with this last year around this time with my 17 year old cat and it was one the toughest things ive ever had to make a decision on . You will know when its time trust me.... there becomes a point when they will let u know its time to go. Sorry you have to go threw this but unfortunately its part of owning a fury friend. I still see my buddy everyday as i had a dedicated cremation for him which did help me in the long run.

#27 2 years ago

I have been through this several times and it never gets easier. If you think he is suffering in any way, you have to do the right thing. Your vet will now if it's time. 17 years is a nice long life for a family pet. 2 years ago we adopted a 10 year old Westie from a shelter. We suspected that he had cancer. 6 months later he started to get worse. the meds he was on made him drink water constantly. Then he peed all over the house. When we put him down, I cried like a baby even though we only had him a short while. Cherish his memory and know that you gave him a great life.

After Ninja was gone, we got another dog from the shelter and I can't imagine life without her. So yeah, some day I'll be in your shoes again.

#28 2 years ago

Sorry to hear you're going through this at this moment. I've experienced this once myself and it was heartbreaking but you will know when it's the right time and your vet will guide you. I agree with poster above, share some time doing Gizmo's favorite things and celebrate your lives together. Keep reminding yourself that you are doing what you have to do out of love and respect for him. It was a difficult day for us but it was the right thing to minimize suffering in the end so felt right in that way.

#29 2 years ago

I'm really sorry. Gizzy looks like a chill dude. Your family gave him an amazing life. There is no way for you to let go easily just give him extra rubs and extra of all his fav stuff.

#30 2 years ago

Hey SB, been through this a couple of years ago with both of my dogs, Chester & Eddie. They were littermate strays we found roaming the neighborhood terribly under nourished at the time. We took them in and loved them for over 14 years, and I even built them their own website with pics, thoughts, their friends, etc. - corny, but fun. Pets are special, but there is a time to let them go when they are suffering, and as others have stated your vet will know when that time is right. Remember the joy they brought to your life, cherish the memories, and try to take the things you learned from them (unconditional love, etc.) to make yourself and those around you better people.

#31 2 years ago

I know how you feel....

...our current dog is spectacular and even though only a year and a half old, I'm already worried: she is a big girl and runs hot. Big dogs live shorter lives than small dogs. I have never had such an amazing dog - I highly recommend a Golden Doodle like my Buttercup. Hang in there!

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#32 2 years ago

Pets are family in my house. We have 2 crazy bulldogs, one old and one younger. My wife also tries to feed the entire cat population and a bunch have ended up gaining permanent residence in our house. One cat ended up getting sick. This cat was special. We noticed that the outside cats wouldn't let her eat. My wife wouldn't let this happen so we took her to the vet, where we were told that she was declawed. We had to take her in. She was such a loving cat but when she got sick I had to be the one to let her go. Hardest thing I ever had to do. I'm not even a cat person but I guess I became one. Not more than a month later, another cat suddenly passed. It is never easy to let go cause most memories are wonderful memories. In the end, you need to do what is best for your pet, no matter how hard it may be. Get the opinion of the vet. They usually try to take emotion out of the equation.

#33 2 years ago
Quoted from TheHueManatee:

So sorry to hear the news about gizmo. We lost our Maggie 13 months ago. I began noticing a few things that weren't normal and decided to bring her to the vet.
I knew the prognosis wasn't going to be good....but still had to go. When we got there, the vet ran some tests and informed us that she had a major cyst rupture inside her and was leaking everywhere. She had no circulation going through her legs and she felt frozen. I went next door to McDonald's and got here a few cheeseburgers.....and sat on the floor of the vets office feeding her and cherishing our last minutes together.
We had to have her put to sleep shortly after she finished her McDonald's. It was THE hardest things I have ever done and the pain of losing a best friend is still felt to this day.
But I took great comfort in knowing that Maggie had a great and happy life. Although she's gone....she will never be forgotten.

So here I am at work,reading this while my trailer gets unloaded and you got me with tears in my eyes. Saying good bye sucks!
-Mike

#34 2 years ago

Last year, my dad passed away. About 6 weeks before he died, I prayed that he would go to sleep and not wake up.

Watching a loved one suffer is probably the hardest thing to experience in life. Letting them go is the most human thing to do.

#35 2 years ago

Sorry, its been over 5yrs since putting down my black lab of 13yrs, cried like a baby, she could hardly breathe but was still wagging her tail right to the end, still cant think of bringing home another dog.

#36 2 years ago

So sorry Superbee, this thread is heart breaking........Gizmo is beautiful and we are right here grieving with you as we have all been there. We just lost our little girl Saturn who was with us for 18 years. She was such an amazing cat and companion. I swear, she lived her entire life wanting to be a human. She was so smart. Her health faded fast and I knew what it meant. I have had many animals and my rule is when they lose mobility, it's time. My girlfriend and I ended up taking a few days off work and spending 5 days straight with her. It allowed us to say good bye and also realize that letting her go was the best thing for her. We had a woman come to the house to put her down. She was laying in her favorite spot over looking the balcony when she passed. The woman sedated her at first so there was no pain, she just fell asleep and then she administered the final blow. My Saturn was afraid of the vets so I was so happy we had this option. It was more money, but I will never put down any of my babies any other way. Enjoy the time you have left with him. He had an amazing life with amazing parents. I guess in the end that is all any of us could ever hope for..........

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#37 2 years ago

I left for work yesterday, cat was fine. Got home last night and his back legs were not working. He was pulling himself around the house with his front legs. Vet said blood clot near his spine that was cutting off circulation to both back legs and there was nothing they could do for him. We had to put him to sleep. Complete shock, wife is a mess. These animals mean so much to us. Just shower them with love and help end their suffering, it's the humane thing to do

#38 2 years ago

Sorry to read this.
I went through the exact same thing just two months ago with our 11 year old Shih Tzu Ratchet and it is still fresh in my mind.
What I figured out is that there is never a good,right or better time to lose or let something go you really wish you could have forever. I wish I could say there was.
Now two months removed from it it still hurts but I find myself much more able to focus on the 11 years we spent together and less on the final day.
We did get another Shih Tzu just a couple weeks ago and it hasn’t been viewed or treated as a “replacement “for Ratchet but it has definitely helped fill that void.

#39 2 years ago

I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is very much the same as losing a family member. There's no two ways about it. What makes it more difficult is being able to have the emotional clarity to make the decision of letting a best friend go to end the suffering for them. Give your buddy the best couple days/weeks/months he can have. Make him feel comfortable, loved, and wanted. If you're upset, he'll become upset, but this time, it's your turn to provide him with that emotional support.

I think you'll know when it's time, and during the bereavement process, filling that emotional void may be the best thing you can do. We've never seen new pets as "replacements," but instead, emotional fortifiers which help to quickly strengthen a new bond.

When that time comes, adopt. Don't shop. Shelters are overcrowded, and the animals in them need to fill an emotional void just as much as you would, making for great relationships.

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#40 2 years ago

Megatron, who has been horribly sick for the last week as well and almost didn't make it, sends his best wishes and support no matter what decision you make.

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#41 2 years ago

I feel for you . As owner now of dogs for over 40 years I see it like this. We provide them with free room and board, free health care ,free toys and treats. What we get in return is unconditional love and devotion for there entire life. I have always looked at it like this the pain we feel in our hearts at the end of there life, but would gladly re up for another pet anytime. they are my children and will never go forward in life with out a dog my side. This is my 180 pound great Dane who hides behind me when she gets scared.

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#42 2 years ago

My advise you don't want Gizmo to suffer. We have been done this road we lost Pete a Jack Russel last November 16 years. It's truely one of the worst feeling seeing trusting eyes and then put to sleep.

Blow was so bad this is the first time (42 years ) we haven't had a dog. We can't deal with that again.

We really miss him.

#43 2 years ago
Quoted from Grizlyrig:

Saying good bye sucks!

It certainly does....buy reminiscing and remembering the good times/memories lasts forever!

#44 2 years ago

Prayers and Empathy from Lisa, myself, Daisy and Rosie.... our hearts hurt for you.
Hopes for good news.

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#45 2 years ago

17 years and a great life. Time to let him go. When my dog of 14 years starting struggling and making messes everywhere, struggling to stand from hip issues, there was no point in prolonging his pain for my selfish reasons. Today, tomorrow, or next month, the time will come. It’s just a matter of how much you want him to endure and how much effort you can put into cleaning things up. My prayers are with you all.

#46 2 years ago

Sad day, sorry that you're going through this. This is so tough and I'd say it all comes down to quality of life for all involved. I've just went through this a couple times in the past 5 years. Our cat of 22 years developed fluid in the chest. We'd take him each week to the vet to get it removed until it seemed like he just didn't want me to keep doing that. When it was time, I had a vet come in and put him to rest at home. I just kept a smile on my face and kept petting him the whole time like nothing was wrong. Hardest damn thing I ever did, but I did it for him.

I hurt too bad to think about another cat immediately so we waited some time and then got another. Max (pictured)was our child, eating at the table with us, dressed him in Hoody's which he loved. He came down with FIP and started to get sick(rapid weight loss), we had feeding tubes put in him because we needed more time to figure out what was wrong with him. We tried everything, but in the end there was nothing we could do except make him comfortable until we felt it was time. Thirty days later that time came. I put on a smile on and carried him into the vet and my wife spoke to him in the way only she could. I wanted his last memory to be good and he was trying to purr and his eyes were squinty. This is cat language for I'm happy. The shot was given and he just went to sleep forever. It took us two years to even think about another cat and we almost decided never again. The house was lonely and we finally went forward. I'm glad we did.

I guess my advice is to enjoy your time, spoil, comfort and love. When you feel the time is right and quality of life isn't there you may have to make that very difficult decision. Keep smiling and assuring during the time and feel good that you've given such a wonderful life to Gizmo and that you let Gizmo go in such a humane way when that time comes.

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#47 2 years ago

As soon as I finished reading through this thread I remembered the following comic-type thing I had seen previously. No matter if you are still healing from a loss, about to go through a loss, it can be good to remember that God (or another being that you may believe in) is looking after your friend/family member.

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Good luck with the vet trip tomorrow, Superbee. Whatever decision you make, or whatever the outcome may be, know that it will be the right one. With the guidance of the vet, the given outcome will be okay. Time, too, can heal. Whether it be physical, spiritual, or mental wounds: time is able to heal. Best of wishes.

#48 2 years ago

Always told people the hardest part of owning a pet isn't the house training, the walks, the vet bills, picking up the poop, etc. It's the twilight years of a pets life. Everything starts going at a certain point and seeing a pet in pain and suffering is the hardest thing anyone can experience because there is nothing you can possibly do but watch your pet go through the motions. Most times vets can only do so much. I'm dealing with it now with my 11 year old pug with her epileptic and grand mal seizures (she is on life long seizure meds to help contain that), often restless and moves around frequently in the middle of the night, and she can't walk down the stairs anymore in the back yard because of her arthritis. Its tough and I absolutely feel your pain with what you are going through. My dog has been through so much with me and it's heartbreaking. Only pet owners can relate. Cherish every minute you have left with your dog. Take nothing for granted. Good luck at the vet tomorrow and please keep us posted on Gizmo.

#49 2 years ago

We got Penelope in August 2003, just 2 months after we got married. She was with us for over 14 years through 10 moves and 5 new human additions to our family. The first picture in this post I took on Sept 15 of this year; just a month ago. It was minutes before I gave her to the vet tech, never to see her again.

She had been mostly incontinent for almost 2 years, couldn't see and couldn't hear and walked with a stiff gait but didn't seem to suffer too much until the last day. My wife called me on Sept 15 and said Penelope wasn't doing well. I had the afternoon off and when I arrived at home, I knew it was time. She was in pain and couldn't lie down. She stumbled into walls and whimpered when I picked her up.

It may sound strange but I let my wife and kids say goodbye to her at home and then took her to the vet myself. After I gave her to them, I left. I didn't want to see her dead and I think that has made it easier for me and the kids. Of course I bawled my eyes out later that night after a few drinks but have dealt with her death pretty well after that. I am an atheist and have no belief that I will "see her again" so I imagine when I gave her to them at the vet, they patched her up and she is just living a life of contentment there. I'm too much a realist to actually believe that but it brings me some contentment.

Thanks for your post. This pain is very recent for me and misery likes company.

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#50 2 years ago

Praying for Gizmo and some good news from the doc.

If God decides it is time to call Gizmo home, I pray it is peacefully at home with his family.

If the doc suggests that euthanasia is the most compassionate option, consider that this can be done at home. Also, never pleasant to think about after-life care but for your peace of mind, inquire about a witnessed private cremation.

Peace to you and your beloved companion and strength and wisdom to you to make the best decisions for your friend.

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