I don't know, reading between the lines it seems like you could be the type of person who does best when under pressure and is actually motivated by self-rage. Perhaps not the healthiest approach, but for some people (like me) it definitely helps when things REALLY need to get DONE. Maybe the real problem is, you aren't being hard ENOUGH on yourself, lol!

I say embrace the profanity, revel in the rage, and emerge a stronger and better player!

Otherwise you should just get that bark collar or maybe a fifth of Russian Standard, or perhaps consult with your friendly neighborhood "budtender".