Wow. As a small business owner myself, I TOTALLY get the situation. This is why home building vendors don't usually deal with the public. Way too much hassle, and the rules are different for big ticket items vs (for example) a Yamaha stereo bought at the nearest big box store. What a pain - for both of you.
I will say though that this post from Kurt makes me want to buy from him. Good distributors are hard to find, in any industry.