I can only speak for myself Robin, but for me it's more a matter of intent, than authenticity of identity. Using a fairly flirty and giggling demeanor, and then directly asking for a sale from a forum user after providing proof of identity, doesn't exactly instill a platform of respect towards from her to her customers, more manipulation of her gender for more sales. That to me doesn't create goodwill, it establishes a manipulation of sexuality for cash. Would this same approach succeed or fail if a male user approached in the same manner?
Decrying sexism towards myself then posting in a manner evoking victimization immediately after being questioned on the legitimacy of intent, as a salesperson, should ideally be met with care and scrutiny from that salesperson, rather than scorn, and accusation towards a thoughtful fellow forum member, and potential customer. To further that point, I have purchased two machines in the past year, a series of protective products for those machines, and never once have those transactions involved giggles and playful flirtation from the seller towards myself, sellers that have been both female and male.
To engender respect as any user on a forum, means first to command it oneself.
I'm certain everyone on this board wants pinball to succeed, expand, and prosper. To do so, we need larger demographics than the existing one, one that's aging and fairly specific. But to expand that in a way that is done with dignity, needs to be done in a manner where gender, age, ethnicity, sexuality, relgion, etc, isn't at the core of why and how we express our love for the hobby. Ideally, we all look at each other first and foremost, as people that love the hobby. When we approach it any different way, we lesson the dignity of the interest, as our motivations shift, and stir from areas that may create bias one way or the other.
Female or Male, we are all unique, and have value here. A male user that might be a paraplegic from Spain, has as much value as a female user that is an avid Beatles fan from New Zealand. Our primary draw for conversation towards both users is their love of pinball, not region, age, gender, sexuality, etc.
To give preference or devalue a person based on one aspect of who a person is, is discrimination by definition.