I posted this there, but I'm always confused by the people who bring home a pinball machine without their wife at least knowing their intentions.

I'm at the point of my life where the cost of a new stern is swingable, but only as a fairly major purchase. We also live in the heart of a big city, which means space is at a premium. We only have the room in our home for one pin comfortably (maybe two uncomfortably). Our current pinball machine takes up a fair bit of our living room.

We do have separate accounts for personal expenses, and we're not checking each other, but when we hit that high of amount of money, not to mention the space issue, we're talking about it. My wife knew I was out shopping for a pinball machine, just like she knew when I was out shopping for a nice Hawaiian made ukulele (another obsession of mine). The idea of keep it a secret never crossed my mind, nor just doing it and living with the consequences.

She has asked me to not make a purchase, usually because we have some expenses coming down the line that weren't taken into account, but I've done the same with her for her own really expensive purchases. It's not her "telling me no", but a part of the discussion and open communication I think spouses need to have with each other.

But maybe this is different for people who are better off financially than we are or have more available space, like a game room available.

If you do that, you're just roommates and not a single household. That is where part of the trouble lies.

Marriage isn't hard to figure out - you just need to find someone who gives and takes as you do, and respects themselves in the same way as you respect yourself and vice versa. Once you get that down - it's cake.

Some people should never marry nor live with anyone other than a cat.

I believe the original post was intended to bring awareness to the fact that there is a hypocritical sentiment in our society that the feelings of men don't matter. While some people are striving for equality, many are blind to the fact that men can also be mistreated and abused in various ways and they then have to hear things like "happy wife, happy life".

Divorce - the fu{%ing you get for the fu.,!ng you got!

I always get a family consensus when the family gets a new game. I especially want my wife happy with it since we are not talking about buying an old solid state pin. Been with my wife for 33 years and it’s not just about me, but us. Happy and would never change it.

These can be easily thrown out by any judge for little to no reason. Chapters in books have been written on this matter.

Boom. You 100% nailed it.

We’ve worked something out for retirement where there will be 3 accounts: mine, hers and the “house” account. Most of our retirement income will go to the house account, and we’ll split what’s left over. We had a good discussion about what should come out of the house account. She thought that car maintenance and insurance should come out of that account. I thought that was unbalanced because she has 2 cars, and I have one. Her concession to me was that my 10x10 storage unit can come out of the house account too.

The thing that will probably lead to us getting divorced is that she’s dead set against me starting up any kind of business with my games, because she’s convinced that it’s a money-loser. I guess we’ll either cross or burn that bridge when we come to it. I need to work 3 more years to retire.

I think the premises is flawed. Marriage is about a partnership. It’s not one side
Vs the other but how you work together to support each other. If both people are on same team and want each other happy they support them in their recreational pursuits. My wife likes pinball but not as much as I do. She supports my hobby and I support her interests in the garden club and playing tennis. I guess it’s how you look at your relationship and allow your love one to pursue their interests outside of your day to day responsibilities.

Good point. My wife and I have separate accounts but when it comes to anything we need to spend money on we either split it or trade off, the key is communication and being understanding. Also having shared health insurance is a huge plus.

Happy Wife Happy Life Works for Awhile, But Once You're Divorced You Can Finally Return You're Balls To Your Sack !! What A feeling !!

Did you say the same reason divorce cost so much. "It's worth it"

Never again will I marry.

I am so much more happy without having to deal with some pain in the ass on a constant basis in exchange for sub-par sex.

I dumped my girlfriend a month ago….she’s still into having sex.

37 years, got married very young and our finances have always been our finances, we learned to adult as a team. Wife does the accounting, always has. I like it that way. We discuss new pin purchases, we discuss all major purchases. Don't think I have ever been "denied", probably some times I should have.
Don't see ever getting divorced, got a good deal going and I would never be able to "grow up together" with anyone else if I did. That is once in a lifetime.

Happy wife, happy life… for all matters except pinball!

She must be looking over your'e shoulder as you write this........kidding glad it's working out, and by the way none of us ever think wer'e getting divorced....

Got married at 21, I'm almost 37, I haven't done one load of laundry or dishes in 16 years.

Suck it losers!

LMFAO

Just buy more cars. Simple

She's trying to really hook you in with a baby, baby.

Nice!

My ex girlfriend who lived with me said I have too many pinball machines.

I told her she had too many shoes.

We enable each other. 20 pins later ... still going.

20211106_153310 (resized).jpg

Screenshot_20221019-165257_Messenger (resized).jpg

What a great thread. I have acquired 4 pins over the last 10 years. My wife never said a thing and even let me keep one in the living room. Had a get together about a month ago and someone evidently told my wife " you know how expensive these things are?! We had our first argument over the pin in the living room last week. That's the newest one, and the one I paid the most for, but I am holding my ground!

Who told her?
Never invite them back.

My ex live in girlfriend, one of her friends told her that I have a pinball machine worth 31k. I told her if it was worth that, it wouldn’t be in the basement, but rather sold. So she tells me I should sell some cause she wants a pool.

The beauty of not being married….just kick them out the door.

Remember men: never chase, always replace.

Getting married may be the worst that could happen.

First. The way I learned that you are "supposed" to run things by the wife was when I came home with a brand new Yamaha dirt bike for our 2 year old. She was like "What the...?!?" I was like "Hey, woah, it HAS training wheels." Anyway, the bike stayed, and our son still has the scar to prove it :-)P. Just as I did when my parents had me riding horses on our cattle farm, literally, before I could walk. It's how we learn. I'm a great horseman, son is an accomplished off roader because we started young. That can usually be said for every accomplished athlete, race car driver, bowler, bull rider, etc.

On a side note, my first pins were bought two years ago as we were planning a new house. Ended up buying two. Perfect. And currently in my large, awesome new gameroom. As I was trying to decide which pin to purchase? She liked Aerosmith, I liked Ghostbusters. Bought em both. She was like, hey, it's your money. We enjoy them both, but for whatever reason, play AS a lot more. Sold GB premium a couple weeks ago to make room for something new. Cactus Canyon RSE (ordered), or Scooby, if we can find one?

End story, on big purchases, it's always my decision, with her input, knowing that I want her to be onboard with whatever I am involved in. Whether it's muscle cars, drag racing, dirt bikes, ATV's, horses, my Republic of Texas collection, etc. The only thing we seem to do completely separate is online gaming. Works for us.

Basically, every couple, married or not is different and has to find what works for them. That is the key, and it ain't easy. Good luck my pinsider friends.

Each time she fights / argues I just buy another pinball machine . Take that!

With my ex, the games were already here when we met so she knew what she was getting into. The games were never a problem.

The problem was that I made 10x her salary, owned the house and she had zero assets. No matter what I did I couldn’t get her interested in the financial side of things, so I had to handle all of that.

Then, when things broke down suddenly she was very very interested in the finances. She expected to get half of everything. She didn’t but it took 3 years of legal battles and many thousands of dollars to resolve it.

Those of you who think it’s totally fair to just give half your shit to a person because you get married are crazy. It’s so ridiculously imbalanced as to be comical. Maybe you’re in a situation where you’re both at about the same level so joint accounts make sense but it’s not the same for everyone.

If I ever live with someone again there will be a cohabitation agreement signed by lawyers.

Enjoy while you can, or change. She will not put up with that arrangement for ever.
You might think she is OK with it becasue it flys now but give it enough time and you will have to start dating again

Happiness is overrated. Contentedness is where it’s at.

My income, my money, my own accounts. Her income, her money, her own accounts. We both put what we need into a joint account for mortgage, utilities, food, medical etc. It works great, we split all that stuff 50/50, there’s no bickering, no feeling like one of us contributes more financially than the other. We both grow independently and collectively this way.

She often challenges and encourages me by telling me there’s no more room for another pin. And when she does, I always find a way to make more room.

Definitely agree with this, always have, always will.

I'm just like every animal I've ever owned......fixed.

I'm too old for kids (soon to be 45).

LMAO I am almost at 40 years, when will she stop. I did start to help cook since I enjoy it.

Hopefully this link works.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoZm1SEAej_/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I would like to meet the person who made up that whopper. Probably in an institute somewhere.

30 years for us in July. Not labeling things “hers”/“mine”, trying to be more ‘giving’ than ‘receiving’, and not worrying more about what shes doing (or not doing) than what I’m doing…seems to have worked pretty well for us. Who woulda guessed that the ‘golden rule’ works in marriage!?!

She did once tell me “no” to a pin: JJP GnR…she doesn’t like the band…thank goodness I honored her opinion.

In a lot of instances having half your shit taken doesn’t mean the books are closed. They can always come back for more when that runs out or you have continued financial success.

Oh and if you’re ever put on child support, don’t think about asking for a reduction if you’ve always been able to make full payments. There’s no reason to reduce if you’re seemingly doing that well.

I ever get married, I want my prenup to dwarf all 3 of the Lord of The Rings books, plus the appendix.

Place all your assets in a trust before you buy that ring.

I bought my first house in 1997, been renting it since 2009. Had about 10 pins at the time, including most of my 90's B/W games. We all know where the value has gone on those.

Married 2011. Divorced a few weeks ago. Ex had a house she owned that she lost to foreclosure during the recession in 2008 - I loaned her the money to buy it back at a county tax auction in 2013 for a pittance (18k, worth about $110k now). 3 bedroom bungalow, big yard, detached garage. She began renting it when we bought our house in 2013 or so. The past 4 years she's rented it to her son for about half what she could be getting but it's paid off so.....

When we started discussing the divorce and lining up appraisers so she could get half of the appreciation value of our current home (I wanted to buy her out), I pointed out that "her" house was purchased while we were married (hence a marital asset), so we needed to get an appraisal on that too. Instantly the claws came out - "You took money out of our joint account (once, about 4k) to do repairs on your house so that's now a "marital asset" too, so half of THAT house is mine. And half of all your games too".

Talked to 2 different lawyers and they basically said it was a crap shoot - a judge may decide that since we'd been married over 10 years that half of everything I owned COULD be considered "marital", regardless of how long I'd owned it. And that they'd have to get a collectibles appraiser to value each of the games, which wouldn't be cheap.

She and I agreed that I'd give her $75k for half the appreciation value of the house (which is about 10k more than it actually appraised for), and half my 401k, and she'd leave my games and rental house alone.

My lawyer said "If you wanna make me rich, we'll fight her. $75k and half your 401k? I think you're getting off easy".

I paid her off and kept the house. But I'll forever be curious how it would have gone if we'd fought it out.

I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, but the answer to this question for my marriage was to make a lot more money. When I got married 15 years ago I was joining the Army as an E3. I was in for six and a half years and during that time I never made more than a few thousand bucks a month (OK, combat pay in Afghanistan put me a little higher for a year).

My wife is one of the most tight fisted people around, and I am not. I didn't put us into debt or anything, but my natural preference is to spend the money I make, and she wanted to save it. We were so poor that she would get mad at me for going to the PX for a candy bar. When I got out of the military, I knew if I wanted a moments peace the only thing I could do was earn more. I went back to school on the GI Bill and worked my butt off to get straight A's in Computer Science. We were still poor but I was in school, on public transit, or studying 16 hours a day so I didn't really have time to bother her by spending money.

Once I graduated, I knew my first few years were crucial because I was already behind my peers, so I outworked everyone. I was the first in, last out every single day. Every decision I made at work was measured, and I never allowed myself to act emotionally. Luckily my wife and kids were used to not seeing me a lot (Army --> School --> 80hr/week job) so I just kept on going. I've been at it for a little over six years and have been promoted five times. I make enough money that a few years ago my wife just stopped watching the bank/cc accounts altogether. We have plenty of savings, retirement, etc, so she just doesn't care what I buy, and I don't care what she buys.

The last few years have been the best of my whole marriage and I don't mind the fact that I rarely have a full evening or weekend off because the time I do have is spent with the people, and on the things, that I love in a much more harmonious way than I ever had before. Perhaps it's a sad statement on society (although there are plenty of those on the other side of the equation too), but if men are the wallets in the relationship, then I'm darn sure going to fill mine up. I haven't gotten one bit of grief over any of the pinball machines I've bought.

It's a shame that pinside is 99.8 % male. Would be great to get an alternative view around here on these matters!

Rich white guys; will they ever be treated fairly?!