Monroe, MI
Today’s my 40th anniversary. Don’t know how happy she is, but we let each other do what we want.
(Topic ID: 334783)
Quoted from hlaj78:Today’s my 40th anniversary. Don’t know how happy she is, but we let each other do what we want.
happy anniversary!
So, I'll take my place in admitting I was the one that started the "off topic" subject here in the Foo Hype Thread. I didn't even think about making a separate forum topic - so kudos to the OP on that. My post here is not geared towards any one member here - this is just a personal rant altogether, so no judgment from me to anyone here. Here we go.
I see posts here all the time along the lines of:
"My wife gave me permission."
"I have to ask before I can order this new game..."
"Thankfully, she was ok with me ordering this, that, or the other."
"Had to run it by her, but thankfully she was on board so I ordered what I wanted."
and of course....
"Happy Wife, Happy Life.", implying our inputs, thoughts, wants, desires, etc. don't matter at all. Hence, my preference of "Happy Spouse, Happy House".
Obviously, you can't get a person's tone from a forum post here. You also cannot possibly know all the minute details about "being given permission" - when really - the member posting really meant "We had a discussion, I ran all my points by her, she ran her points by me, we made sure we both listened to one another, and we made a collaborative decision to make/not make the purchase."
What really gets to me is how there's this impression/perception that we "need permission" to spend our own money. Maybe that's me not knowing all the details, or maybe that's a failure from members to properly convey all the details.
My significant other and I keep our finances separate with a center account for all expenses we are responsible for as a couple, and that's it - the rest of our paychecks stay in our individual accounts to spend however we want.
I think what many here do is "run it by their wife" meaning they told their wife what they plan to do, get a vibe as to how she feels, and then order it anyways. This is assuming, of course, there's a dedicated gameroom/basement vs trying to put a pinball machine in the kitchen or bathroom. But then they post "My wife gave me the 'go ahead' and so now I can buy the game!!", which sounds so emasculating and "thank you, Yas Queen, for letting me spend my money on what I want".
My personal rant - not to any one person here - but to the world: We already have the divorce courts and child custody courts against us - why should we "have to ask for permission" to spend our money how we want?
Personally, if I "have to ask for permission" on how to spend my money in a marriage, I'd be absolutely miserable. That's not a marriage, that's a prison.
End of my thoughts that no one asked for 
Quoted from LTG:Don't marry the psycho ones. Ride them until they buck you off.
LTG : )
I'm winning because she's now divorcing for the second time.
Quoted from hlaj78:Today’s my 40th anniversary. Don’t know how happy she is, but we let each other do what we want.
Young guys this is great advice in a round about way:
"Don’t know how happy she is"
Only way to not know this is limiting your communications 
Just kidding thought it was funny reading it though, congrats!
I have never understood when guys answer the question how many years you been married they always just give the current years for the current marriage.
The question is not "How long is your current marriage?" The question is "How many years have you been married?"
Like if you have been married 3 times add all the "Time served"
Why don't guys get credit for time served when asked how long have you been married?
Extending happy wife into pinball life, she picked out our last two machines purchased that she really likes - WOZ and Batman 66, I could do a lot worse...
Quoted from NPO:What really gets to me is how there's this impression/perception that we "need permission" to spend our own money. Maybe that's me not knowing all the details, or maybe that's a failure from members to properly convey all the details.
My significant other and I keep our finances separate with a center account for all expenses we are responsible for as a couple, and that's it - the rest of our paychecks stay in our individual accounts to spend however we want.
Some marriages don’t have your money and my money, only our money. So discussions are in order for large purchases. Also, to your other puzzles, men love to pretend in front of other men like their wives are a pain so they say things like “got permission” even if a mature discussion and mutual decision were made.
Quoted from JohnTTwo:Young guys this is great advice
Buy a house now.
Then give it to a complete stranger.
And then you've already done that one and can get on with the rest of your life.
LTG : )
We marry when we are young and dumb, and that goes both ways. If you haven't lived together for a year or 2 before getting married, you are rolling the dice.
Quoted from jackd104:....men love to pretend in front of other men like their wives are a pain so they say things like “got permission” even if a mature discussion and mutual decision were made.
On a forum here where you cannot decipher tone, body language, etc. that's a terrible thing to do. I'd be disgusted and feel betrayed if my significant other did that to me.
Quoted from NPO:On a forum here where you cannot decipher tone, body language, etc. that's a terrible thing to do. I'd be disgusted and feel betrayed if my significant other did that to me.
I think "love to pretend" is more like silly, insignificant banter, but really??
Quoted from NPO:My significant other and I keep our finances separate with a center account for all expenses we are responsible for as a couple, and that's it - the rest of our paychecks stay in our individual accounts to spend however we want.
That’s probably the difference. I know a few married couples that manage their family finances this way, and that’s actually my goal once I’m retired. I think it works well when you both work. But when you’re the sole earner, it’s paradoxically harder to spend what you earn on whatever you want to.
Happy life, no wife!
...my girlfriend will second that!
(Was married for 7 years, 3 good, 2 ok, 2 purgatory, 2 years of divorce absolute hell)
Ran into my cuz the other day. She introduced me to her partner, witch is a dude so I'm like what's a partner? Did you guys buy a McDonald's or Subway together? She's clearly not gay so why wasn't it her bf? Is that a bad word now? Lol, I'm so confused! Lol sorry to derail, but maybe she thought happy Partner happy life!
Annan
I’ve been asked multiple times for fake ‘wife’ receipts from customers. It always amuses and scares me at the same time.
‘Oh honey, come look at this MMR Royal I got for you, it’s your favorite game. Remember 6 years ago you played it for 30 seconds and said ‘that one’s neat’. Now it’s yours and it was only $1,500. Tina Fey is in it, you like her, right ?’
Quoted from PinballSTAR:I’ve been asked multiple times for fake ‘wife’ receipts from customers. It always amuses and scares me at the same time.
‘Oh honey, come look at this MMR Royal I got for you, it’s your favorite game. Remember 6 years ago you played it for 30 seconds and said ‘that one’s neat’. Now it’s yours and it was only $1,500. Tina Fey is in it, you like her, right ?’
That is interesting the real receipt and the "wife receipt," the problem is the first thing mine did when I was thinking about the first pin was google it and ask why they cost so much?
Man! This hits close to home. Was with the same woman for 11 years, until she cheated on me just about 4 years ago.
Since then, I've just been doing my own thing! Bought myself a nice house with a big ass basement, but I stuck a pinball machine in the dining room, because who the hell is gonna stop me?! Hell, my master bedroom has a nice walk-in closet that's currently not being used for anything. Might stick a game in there as well because "every bedroom needs a pinball machine."
Life is good, man. Life is good.
Quoted from NPO:So, I'll take my place in admitting I was the one that started the "off topic" subject here in the Foo Hype Thread. I didn't even think about making a separate forum topic - so kudos to the OP on that. My post here is not geared towards any one member here - this is just a personal rant altogether, so no judgment from me to anyone here. Here we go.
I see posts here all the time along the lines of:
"My wife gave me permission."
"I have to ask before I can order this new game..."
"Thankfully, she was ok with me ordering this, that, or the other."
"Had to run it by her, but thankfully she was on board so I ordered what I wanted."
and of course....
"Happy Wife, Happy Life.", implying our inputs, thoughts, wants, desires, etc. don't matter at all. Hence, my preference of "Happy Spouse, Happy House".
Obviously, you can't get a person's tone from a forum post here. You also cannot possibly know all the minute details about "being given permission" - when really - the member posting really meant "We had a discussion, I ran all my points by her, she ran her points by me, we made sure we both listened to one another, and we made a collaborative decision to make/not make the purchase."
What really gets to me is how there's this impression/perception that we "need permission" to spend our own money. Maybe that's me not knowing all the details, or maybe that's a failure from members to properly convey all the details.
My significant other and I keep our finances separate with a center account for all expenses we are responsible for as a couple, and that's it - the rest of our paychecks stay in our individual accounts to spend however we want.
I think what many here do is "run it by their wife" meaning they told their wife what they plan to do, get a vibe as to how she feels, and then order it anyways. This is assuming, of course, there's a dedicated gameroom/basement vs trying to put a pinball machine in the kitchen or bathroom. But then they post "My wife gave me the 'go ahead' and so now I can buy the game!!", which sounds so emasculating and "thank you, Yas Queen, for letting me spend my money on what I want".
My personal rant - not to any one person here - but to the world: We already have the divorce courts and child custody courts against us - why should we "have to ask for permission" to spend our money how we want?
Personally, if I "have to ask for permission" on how to spend my money in a marriage, I'd be absolutely miserable. That's not a marriage, that's a prison.
End of my thoughts that no one asked for
I have a bit of a different take on this. I'm a bit old fashioned and am the sole bread winner in our house. She works harder than me raising our 3 boys, but I am the one coming in with the paycheck. I don't want her to have to work, but if she wants to, she can but she needs to be doing it for her, not for societal pressures. I talk to my wife about pinball spending and she's never told me no, but it does help me keep things in check. Despite my large (5, soon to be 6) pinball collection I have not added that much $ wise to pins in over a year. Her only objection was to a GoldenEye due to art, but I just got an Elvira and she's fine with that so... pick your battles. From a financial perspective I just put money in the account and we've got more coming into the account than going out so spending is not really an issue. It never really made financial sense for her to work anyways.
It is human nature to assume that others must share our points of view. If not, they must be un-informed, ill-advised, or simply wrong in their thinking. It turns out, not really.
Quoted from eckelpeckel:Was married for 7 years, 3 good, 2 ok, 2 purgatory, 2 years of divorce absolute hell
This math doesn't work.
Quoted from Only_Pinball:This math doesn't work.
its foreign math, its just different. like your bowling average when the amish roll more frames.
My ex and I (divorce was final a couple weeks ago) had "our" money, which was our paychecks, and then separate accounts for our rental houses and hobbies. Each of our hobbies and rentals were self sustaining - I bought/flipped games and sold mods, she collected and sold plastic Christmas and Halloween lawn decorations.
We were together 20 years, married 12. I don't know how much working from home the last few covid years had to do with it, maybe we didn't have enough space to breathe. Not happy it ended but I hope she finds what she needs.
I'm gonna go cry now.
My wife rolled my EM before I did and that REALLY made her happy... damn bonus thief HAHA!
120 years ago (when this phrase was coined) she may have been too busy making me a sandwich to be bothered with a game 
Luckily we still have humor in our society so these phrases can have value. Humor can be a tool to promote discussion and thought
Engagement Ring
Wedding Ring
SufferRing
For me it's been 4 happy years of marriage. Been married for 35 years and 4 of those were awesome.
Quoted from NPO:So, I'll take my place in admitting I was the one that started the "off topic" subject here in the Foo Hype Thread. I didn't even think about making a separate forum topic - so kudos to the OP on that. My post here is not geared towards any one member here - this is just a personal rant altogether, so no judgment from me to anyone here. Here we go.
I see posts here all the time along the lines of:
"My wife gave me permission."
"I have to ask before I can order this new game..."
"Thankfully, she was ok with me ordering this, that, or the other."
"Had to run it by her, but thankfully she was on board so I ordered what I wanted."
and of course....
"Happy Wife, Happy Life.", implying our inputs, thoughts, wants, desires, etc. don't matter at all. Hence, my preference of "Happy Spouse, Happy House".
Obviously, you can't get a person's tone from a forum post here. You also cannot possibly know all the minute details about "being given permission" - when really - the member posting really meant "We had a discussion, I ran all my points by her, she ran her points by me, we made sure we both listened to one another, and we made a collaborative decision to make/not make the purchase."
What really gets to me is how there's this impression/perception that we "need permission" to spend our own money. Maybe that's me not knowing all the details, or maybe that's a failure from members to properly convey all the details.
My significant other and I keep our finances separate with a center account for all expenses we are responsible for as a couple, and that's it - the rest of our paychecks stay in our individual accounts to spend however we want.
I think what many here do is "run it by their wife" meaning they told their wife what they plan to do, get a vibe as to how she feels, and then order it anyways. This is assuming, of course, there's a dedicated gameroom/basement vs trying to put a pinball machine in the kitchen or bathroom. But then they post "My wife gave me the 'go ahead' and so now I can buy the game!!", which sounds so emasculating and "thank you, Yas Queen, for letting me spend my money on what I want".
My personal rant - not to any one person here - but to the world: We already have the divorce courts and child custody courts against us - why should we "have to ask for permission" to spend our money how we want?
Personally, if I "have to ask for permission" on how to spend my money in a marriage, I'd be absolutely miserable. That's not a marriage, that's a prison.
End of my thoughts that no one asked for
Quoted from SantaEatsCheese:I have a bit of a different take on this. I'm a bit old fashioned and am the sole bread winner in our house. She works harder than me raising our 3 boys, but I am the one coming in with the paycheck. I don't want her to have to work, but if she wants to, she can but she needs to be doing it for her, not for societal pressures. I talk to my wife about pinball spending and she's never told me no, but it does help me keep things in check. Despite my large (5, soon to be 6) pinball collection I have not added that much $ wise to pins in over a year. Her only objection was to a GoldenEye due to art, but I just got an Elvira and she's fine with that so... pick your battles. From a financial perspective I just put money in the account and we've got more coming into the account than going out so spending is not really an issue. It never really made financial sense for her to work anyways.
100% - I never understood separate finances.
I always thought of marriage as a complete union.
Words of advice from my wife's grandfather who has been married for 67 years (her grandparents are in their mid 80's, married very yound). He simply said "Try to be agreeable". There's a lot to unfold there lol. We were golfing together in Florida this year when another younger married guy we got paired with asked him for that advice, he wrote it down lol.
Quoted from BMore-Pinball:100% - I never understood separate finances.
I always thought of marriage as a complete union.
You can think whatever you want about Dave Ramsey and his financial advice, but this is so spot on.
Imagine having this argument with split finances over who pays the baby's hospital bill... YOU should pay the hospital bill because YOU are the one who couldn't hold out a few more hours and asked for the Epidural.
RIP
Quoted from BMore-Pinball:100% - I never understood separate finances.
I always thought of marriage as a complete union.
What if you’re coming in to the marriage with 5m liquid in addition to others assets (home, brokerage accounts, other) and she is bringing a 2015 Acura and her company 401K?
Are you making your new spouse a co-owner of these accounts and various assets?
That would be a tough call for me.
Quoted from Mike_J:What if you’re coming in to the marriage with 5m liquid in addition to others assets (home, brokerage accounts, other) and she is bringing a 2015 Acura and her company 401K?
Are you making your new spouse a co-owner of these accounts and various assets?
That would be a tough call for me.
Unless you have a pre-nup agreement, yes, half of what's yours is hers or eventually it will be given enough time married.
Don't fight over who wears the pants in the relationship, because relationships are best when nobody is wearing pants!
When you are in a marriage things definitely need to be a conversation. If it's "I'm going to do whatever I want" or "You can only do this when I say so" it isn't going to work out well and someone is going to be miserable. If I sit here and tell my wife "I'm buying 3 new pinball machines and there's nothing else to discuss" is that right? Lol no, of course not. If my wife says "You can't buy anymore pinball machines unless I say so" is that right either? No. As Mr. Miyagi said in Karate Kid you need balance.
Quoted from sixtyfourbits:I prefer “happy spouse, happy house”.
Life’s best when both sides are happy.
Now, this is a philosophy that I can get on board with!
While my wife has been 'mostly' supportive of my pinball hobby, she has always been reasonable and remains the person who I most look forward to spending time with. Now, when I'm spending time with her WHILE PLAYING PINBALL (usually when our kids and/or grandchildren are playing too) then I'm in hog heaven.
Quoted from Friengineer:Unless you have a pre-nup agreement, yes, half of what's yours is hers or eventually it will be given enough time married.
This scene just played out with my best friend’s daughter. She is his only child and a terrific person.
My buddy set her up for life, but spent a small fortune on an iron clad pre-nup so that she is the only one who will ever be in control of what he gave to her.
Quoted from Mike_J:This scene just played out with my best friend’s daughter. She is his only child and a terrific person.
My buddy set her up for life, but spent a small fortune on an iron clad pre-nup so that she is the only one who will ever be in control of what he gave to her.
Hopefully your buddy's son-in-law had a lawyer look over it & hopefully it wasn't the same lawyer as the daughter. If his lawyer didn't look over it or they shared lawyers, then that pre-nup is worthless.
The whole divorce thing sucks, the system sucks.
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