Honestly this entire thread made me really sad. Have you sat down and discussed expectations of space and money and all the things that should probably be talked about after a 12 year relationship? I assume she's living with you. So you built a cabin for you, she comes along, and she probably wants to make some of the space hers. No one wants to feel like they're squatting in their s/o 's house, or in their own house really!

Whenever she makes a suggestion that you disagree with, you need to say, ok, let's talk about this stuff. And talk about it not just what she's suggesting, but about the entire point of the hobby. If she wants more room for her hobbies, even if her hobbies are clothes or whatever, then can that happen without impinging upon your hobby? Does she understand that pinball is a stress reliever for you?

I am really lucky in that my wife and I are on board about discussing things like this, before they become sore spots. I have my own office and my own pinball basement gameroom, and she has her own third-floor sewing "studio". But we got to this place because every time she said something about pinball, she was really saying "Hey, there's something I want, and I think you don't know that because you're playing and buying pinball like crazy instead of talking to me about it"

Sounds like you’ve done a lot to accommodate and make the place hers as well as yours. In that case you gotta say how you need a space that’s just yours, and she’s gotta respect that.

I kinda get her behavior, though. I used to be that way. My wife wanted to pick out rugs and furniture that wasn’t my style and I was really lame about it. I was so used to just having my stuff. I learned after lots of practice and talking how that stuff matters less than how happy she is, and we’ve come to a more happy medium. It was hard though, I am super opinionated and my wife worked at a furniture store so interior decor was like a hobby to her.