Girlfriends, Pinball & those annoying couch cushions rant

(Topic ID: 197993)

Girlfriends, Pinball & those annoying couch cushions rant


By tomdrum

9 months ago



Topic Stats

  • 109 posts
  • 59 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 8 months ago by Pinball-is-great
  • Topic is favorited by 4 Pinsiders

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    There are 109 posts in this topic. You are on page 2 of 3.
    #51 9 months ago

    Let's not forget Steak and BJ Day!

    #52 9 months ago
    Quoted from OLDPINGUY:

    Let's not forget Steak and BJ Day!

    My Wife is constanly forgetting this. I tried to help by making everyday steak and BJ day and it still have helped.

    #53 9 months ago

    Mine tells me to get whatever I want. Might be different if we had joint accounts.

    #54 9 months ago
    Quoted from Richthofen:

    Honestly this entire thread made me really sad. Have you sat down and discussed expectations of space and money and all the things that should probably be talked about after a 12 year relationship? I assume she's living with you. So you built a cabin for you, she comes along, and she probably wants to make some of the space hers. No one wants to feel like they're squatting in their s/o 's house, or in their own house really!
    Whenever she makes a suggestion that you disagree with, you need to say, ok, let's talk about this stuff. And talk about it not just what she's suggesting, but about the entire point of the hobby. If she wants more room for her hobbies, even if her hobbies are clothes or whatever, then can that happen without impinging upon your hobby? Does she understand that pinball is a stress reliever for you?
    I am really lucky in that my wife and I are on board about discussing things like this, before they become sore spots. I have my own office and my own pinball basement gameroom, and she has her own third-floor sewing "studio". But we got to this place because every time she said something about pinball, she was really saying "Hey, there's something I want, and I think you don't know that because you're playing and buying pinball like crazy instead of talking to me about it"

    We discussed everything at length before she moved in. She even traveled with me to pick up project pins in year #2. The issue isn't pinball as much as her desire to decorate the house as she feels fit. Since she has done 2 bathrooms (1 of which I fully remodeled) kitchen, (I installed new countertops and flooring she picked), living room (installed new laminate floors plus redid the staircase in oak) master bedroom (built 2 new closets cedar lined, for her clothes) plus closed off a triangular opening into the upstairs master B/R for more darkness/quiet for sleeping. Huge project, had to source pine tongue and groove 150 miles away to match the existing wall. Had custom stain mixed to match 20 year old UV faded pine. Not easy. I did all this work myself. The last area I haven't remodeled is the basement. It's already nice. But after all my efforts she still whines about the basement needing "a woman's touch". It has 4 working pins, one project, 2 videos, pool table and kegerator. I think keeping my basement as I want is justified.

    #55 9 months ago
    Quoted from tomdrum:

    We discussed everything at length before she moved in. She even traveled with me to pick up project pins in year #2. The issue isn't pinball as much as her desire to decorate the house as she feels fit. Since she has done 2 bathrooms (1 of which I fully remodeled) kitchen, (I installed new countertops and flooring she picked), living room (installed new laminate floors plus redid the staircase in oak) master bedroom (built 2 new closets cedar lined, for her clothes) plus closed off a triangular opening into the upstairs master B/R for more darkness/quiet for sleeping. Huge project, had to source pine tongue and groove 150 miles away to match the existing wall. Had custom stain mixed to match 20 year old UV faded pine. Not easy. I did all this work myself. The last area I haven't remodeled is the basement. It's already nice. But after all my efforts she still whines about the basement needing "a woman's touch". It has 4 working pins, one project, 2 videos, pool table and kegerator. I think keeping my basement as I want is justified.

    Tell her to pony up the money for future house renovations and she will quickly change her tune. Or you can just go to her designated rooms and claim they need a "man's touch." Nip this nonsense in the bud now before she ends up with your pinballs in her purse.

    #56 9 months ago
    Quoted from tomdrum:

    We discussed everything at length before she moved in. She even traveled with me to pick up project pins in year #2. The issue isn't pinball as much as her desire to decorate the house as she feels fit. Since she has done 2 bathrooms (1 of which I fully remodeled) kitchen, (I installed new countertops and flooring she picked), living room (installed new laminate floors plus redid the staircase in oak) master bedroom (built 2 new closets cedar lined, for her clothes) plus closed off a triangular opening into the upstairs master B/R for more darkness/quiet for sleeping. Huge project, had to source pine tongue and groove 150 miles away to match the existing wall. Had custom stain mixed to match 20 year old UV faded pine. Not easy. I did all this work myself. The last area I haven't remodeled is the basement. It's already nice. But after all my efforts she still whines about the basement needing "a woman's touch". It has 4 working pins, one project, 2 videos, pool table and kegerator. I think keeping my basement as I want is justified.

    it never ends....42 years of experience!

    #57 9 months ago

    Put a pin in the living room when she is out and when she gets home say you rearranged a little and see how she reacts.

    #58 9 months ago
    Quoted from Travish:

    Put a pin in the living room when she is out and when she gets home say you rearranged a little and see how she reacts.

    Yes, good idea. And to more accurately document her facial expressions, tone, and body language when she enters the room and sees how you re-arranged the living room, you may want to set up cameras to record video & audio.

    #59 9 months ago
    Quoted from tomdrum:

    We discussed everything at length before she moved in. She even traveled with me to pick up project pins in year #2. The issue isn't pinball as much as her desire to decorate the house as she feels fit. Since she has done 2 bathrooms (1 of which I fully remodeled) kitchen, (I installed new countertops and flooring she picked), living room (installed new laminate floors plus redid the staircase in oak) master bedroom (built 2 new closets cedar lined, for her clothes) plus closed off a triangular opening into the upstairs master B/R for more darkness/quiet for sleeping. Huge project, had to source pine tongue and groove 150 miles away to match the existing wall. Had custom stain mixed to match 20 year old UV faded pine. Not easy. I did all this work myself. The last area I haven't remodeled is the basement. It's already nice. But after all my efforts she still whines about the basement needing "a woman's touch". It has 4 working pins, one project, 2 videos, pool table and kegerator. I think keeping my basement as I want is justified.

    Sounds like you’ve done a lot to accommodate and make the place hers as well as yours. In that case you gotta say how you need a space that’s just yours, and she’s gotta respect that.

    I kinda get her behavior, though. I used to be that way. My wife wanted to pick out rugs and furniture that wasn’t my style and I was really lame about it. I was so used to just having my stuff. I learned after lots of practice and talking how that stuff matters less than how happy she is, and we’ve come to a more happy medium. It was hard though, I am super opinionated and my wife worked at a furniture store so interior decor was like a hobby to her.

    #60 9 months ago

    Just remember, everything you have and earn is "ours", and everything she earns or has is "hers".

    Another damn fortune cookie I found once.

    #61 9 months ago

    Just remember to let her know where the door is.

    #62 9 months ago
    Quoted from TheHueManatee:

    Nip this nonsense in the bud now before she ends up with your pinballs in her purse.

    Too late...!!!... .............Joey

    12
    #63 9 months ago
    Quoted from tomdrum:

    more stupid pillows.

    I feel your pain Bro..

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    stupid pillows (resized).JPG

    #64 9 months ago
    Quoted from Jumping-Box:

    I feel your pain Bro..

    #65 9 months ago
    Quoted from tomdrum:

    We discussed everything at length before she moved in. She even traveled with me to pick up project pins in year #2. The issue isn't pinball as much as her desire to decorate the house as she feels fit. Since she has done 2 bathrooms (1 of which I fully remodeled) kitchen, (I installed new countertops and flooring she picked), living room (installed new laminate floors plus redid the staircase in oak) master bedroom (built 2 new closets cedar lined, for her clothes) plus closed off a triangular opening into the upstairs master B/R for more darkness/quiet for sleeping. Huge project, had to source pine tongue and groove 150 miles away to match the existing wall. Had custom stain mixed to match 20 year old UV faded pine. Not easy. I did all this work myself. The last area I haven't remodeled is the basement. It's already nice. But after all my efforts she still whines about the basement needing "a woman's touch". It has 4 working pins, one project, 2 videos, pool table and kegerator. I think keeping my basement as I want is justified.

    It's bean counting bro.

    Look, you gotta weigh it. She's obviously not going to change. So is the companionship, sex, and whatever else she provides worth the annoyances and the fact that eventually your "mancave" is going to have scented candles, uncomfortable furniture, and be overrun by throwpillows and attractive but useless lighting fixtures?

    If so, accept it. If not, dump her. Just remember what a nightmare it can be out there in the dating pool.

    I'm a little more stubborn and obnoxious than you, I kept holding out till I found someone who lets me get away with murder. And even then, there's sacrifices. I can't tell you how many league nights or days working in the shop I've missed out on for family dinners in Jersey.

    JERSEY for God's sake!!!

    #66 9 months ago
    Quoted from CrazyLevi:

    It's bean counting bro.
    Look, you gotta weigh it. She's obviously not going to change. So is the companionship, sex, and whatever else she provides worth the annoyances and the fact that eventually your "mancave" is going to have scented candles, uncomfortable furniture, and be overrun by throwpillows and attractive but useless lighting fixtures?

    Yeah, The candle warmers have already invaded the game room. We have 7 in a 2,000 sq ft house. I'm selling 2 project games this weekend to clear up space and now she is appalled I would bring a stranger into OUR home. She thinks everyone is a murderer, rapist or stalker. These are long time Pinside members, one very local, other driving 3 hours. The area I live in is so rural I never even locked my door till she moved in. (a 9MM is all you need in case) Hopefully after menopause passes things will return to before.

    #67 9 months ago

    Look at the silver lining. If you ended up sending her off for good, you will have more equity in your house if you ever have to sell.

    #68 9 months ago

    OP, you're in trouble (and I am speaking from experience).
    Now is the time to draw a line in the sand.

    Capture d’écran 2017-09-22 à 05.38.52 (resized).png

    #69 9 months ago

    Man, it sounds like you know what you want but feel stuck .

    What would she do if she knew about this thread ?

    #70 9 months ago

    Big picture - pillows are pretty cheap. If you are battling your wife/gf over pillows, you may have bigger problems.

    #71 9 months ago

    It's time to share "The Universal Hot vs Crazy Matrix"! A must watch for every man! Enjoy!

    #72 9 months ago
    Quoted from tomdrum:

    Yeah, The candle warmers have already invaded the game room.

    Watch out. Better plug that trickle before it is too late.
    dam-breaking (resized).jpg

    #73 9 months ago

    My fiancée has the "pillow disease". She bought a bunch of expensive ($75/each x 5) pillow covers a few months ago that she was in love with, and is already looking to switch to another set. Don't understand it, never will.

    That said.....a few years ago, I was the first to spot an HUO Pinbot ad on Craiglist, and called her at work to see how she would feel about bringing it home to our already crowded gameroom (actually our dining room), because however much she hated them, she was my pinball mover/helper. I received an icy "do whatever you want." We all know what that really means, but I took her quite literally and we brought it home the next day. I've overlooked a lot of pillows since then.

    #74 9 months ago
    Quoted from Zampinator:

    It's time to share "The Universal Hot vs Crazy Matrix"! A must watch for every man! Enjoy!
    » YouTube video

    I've seen this video before. It's shockingly acute!

    #75 9 months ago

    My wife and I have spaces that we each have control of. I have the downstairs living room for a gameroom, and a bedroom to use as my office. While she uses the gameroom, I am the one who decides what is in it. Outside of the gameroom and my office, I have very little say in what happens in the rest of the house.

    She regularly thinks of some reason to try to change this agreement, so it takes some diligence to keep the rules in force. Sometimes she complains that I have more space. Then I have to point out that she has a spare room as well that she wants to keep as a guest room. The upstairs living room is not game friendly, so the PS4 has to be down in my office. She also has the dining room, which to me is the biggest waste of space in a house. I get the standard 10% of the closet space.

    We agreed to these areas as a condition of buying the house. I know too many guys who have no space of their own in their house, and that is not something I would ever be ok with.

    We keep our money separate as well, so there is no argument of buying stuff either way as long as it fits in the allotted space.

    #76 9 months ago

    My wife, whom I think has too many pillows, pales to the pictures posted earlier.

    ...and said so when she saw the pics!!

    What would Freud say about this Pillow issue?

    #77 9 months ago

    Forget Pillows... My wife literally has 107 pairs of shoes!

    #78 9 months ago

    My wife used to give me a hard time about ever pin purchase. I then explained exactly how much we spent remodeling and paying off the house that year, and how much we would be spending each year (we pay between 2 and 3x our mortgage over the year). I told her I did not complain when she had me replace all light fixtures in the house with way overpriced fixtures that accomplish the same thing. I could really care less how a light looks, does it give off light? If yes then good. Anyway she no longer argues when I want a new game. We have the arcade, which I have full decorating rights over and the "<Wife's Name> Classic Gaming Dungeon" which we share the responsibilities of decorating.

    #79 9 months ago
    Quoted from OLDPINGUY:

    What would Freud say about this Pillow issue?

    The pillow at the top end of the bed must not touch the wooden back of the bedstead. The small top-pillow must lie on this large pillow in one specific way only—namely, so as to form a diamond shape.

    LTG : )
    Look it up, Freud wrote it.

    #80 8 months ago
    Quoted from Jumping-Box:

    I feel your pain Bro..

    JFC, @quiddity have you been outsourcing?! I swear those are the same Nautica pillowcases...

    #81 8 months ago
    Quoted from Zampinator:

    It's time to share "The Universal Hot vs Crazy Matrix"! A must watch for every man! Enjoy!
    » YouTube video

    My wife knows that guy. His sister was in my wedding.

    #82 8 months ago

    Sucks to be all you guys "compromising" with all the BS that is why I live ALONE in my mansion with all my Pinball machines, pool table, arcade games, etc. and no DRAMA and extreme happiness.

    Andrew

    13
    #83 8 months ago
    Quoted from Slackmoe:

    Sucks to be all you guys "compromising" with all the BS that is why I live ALONE in my mansion with all my Pinball machines, pool table, arcade games, etc. and no DRAMA and extreme happiness.
    Andrew

    I can't speak for everyone but sex and companionship is sometimes worth compromise.

    #84 8 months ago
    Quoted from Bos98:

    Forget Pillows... My wife literally has 107 pairs of shoes!

    This post made me count hers. Only 89, guess she needs to get busy! I sold a Project Slick Chick last week and I'm selling a project Silverball Mania this week to free up space. Her comment was "great you sold 2, you'll probably buy 4 more." I said, "great idea, York is Friday!" Got the deadly silence and icy stare. After the standard 1 minute awkward silence I had to remind her my SUV only holds one. Unless I rent a U-Haul trailer............

    #85 8 months ago

    Sounds like she won't be happy until they are ALL gone .
    My wife doesn't play never has, but she doesn't glare at me for having them. She understands it's what I do and where I go when I want to hang with my friends, or by myself to have some beers and just unwind .

    14
    #86 8 months ago

    I'm sooo with you guys! My husband keeps telling me that we need to get our living room and dining room furniture out of storage and actually have a living and dining room again...it took me about 3 years to convince him the dining room was wasted space that would be so much better with pins in it, then they just kind of migrated into the living room too! We have had pins in the living and dining room since 2010 (I think) so now he has finally put his foot down and said we will have a living/dining room again! Granted with this "plan" I am finally getting my new garage/shop built and the current garage will be turned into another game room family room to go with the 21 pins in the basement and the jukebox and hopefully the pool table gets to come home too!! So right now while the garage is being built, all the pins (8) from the living room (except Met and SM) are folded up and the living room has a couch in it again...I sooo feel you alls pain!!!

    Phoebe

    #87 8 months ago
    Quoted from Butterflygirl24:

    I'm sooo with you guys! My husband keeps telling me that we need to get our living room and dining room furniture out of storage and actually have a living and dining room again...it took me about 3 years to convince him the dining room was wasted space that would be so much better with pins in it, then they just kind of migrated into the living room too! We have had pins in the living and dining room since 2010 (I think) so now he has finally put his foot down and said we will have a living/dining room again! Granted with this "plan" I am finally getting my new garage/shop built and the current garage will be turned into another game room family room to go with the 21 pins in the basement and the jukebox and hopefully the pool table gets to come home too!! So right now while the garage is being built, all the pins (8) from the living room (except Met and SM) are folded up and the living room has a couch in it again...I sooo feel you alls pain!!!
    Phoebe

    You, madame, are a rare gem, and should be cloned.

    #88 8 months ago
    Quoted from tomdrum:

    Sounds like a Guns & Roses song.

    Oh that's cold!

    #89 8 months ago

    I don't normally reply to these threads (or any threads for that matter), but boy are you jammed buddy. The fact you've allowed ANY of this nonsense to happen has validated her behavior. Good luck changing any of it. The actions and attitudes you've described are textbook "typical woman" behavior. She's been getting away with it for years, and intends to continue to do so.

    I'm just saying what most of us are thinking.

    #90 8 months ago

    Can't stand the term "man cave". If you're with someone who makes you put the things you love and enjoy into a "cave", then maybe it's time to reevaluate the relationship. Also, man cave means a man's butt...

    #91 8 months ago
    Quoted from ArcadiusMaximus:

    Can't stand the term "man cave". If you're with someone who makes you put the things you love and enjoy into a "cave", then maybe it's time to reevaluate the relationship. Also, man cave means a man's butt...

    The wife and I call our game room the "Bitchin' Basement." She wants to add a Hobbit to the Bitchin' Basement....looks like I need to work some OT

    #92 8 months ago
    Quoted from ArcadiusMaximus:

    Can't stand the term "man cave". If you're with someone who makes you put the things you love and enjoy into a "cave", then maybe it's time to reevaluate the relationship. Also, man cave means a man's butt...

    I don't mind the name man cave that much. I think it basically is universally accepted as a place that would have things that men typically like to do like pool, darts, pinball, drinking, play poker and watching sports. With sports, movie, etc memerobila or other such decor. Also most women like these things to (usually to a lesser degree).

    #93 8 months ago

    OP what does she really like? Tell her how would she like it if you insist on her getting rid of whatever that is.

    #94 8 months ago
    Quoted from Fooped:

    I don't normally reply to these threads (or any threads for that matter), but boy are you jammed buddy. The fact you've allowed ANY of this nonsense to happen has validated her behavior. Good luck changing any of it. The actions and attitudes you've described are textbook "typical woman" behavior. She's been getting away with it for years, and intends to continue to do so.
    I'm just saying what most of us are thinking

    I can't disagree. My fault for taking an 8 year hiatus from buying or fixing any new pins. Now that I'm am back into it, it's a problem even after our discussions before she moved in. However in the big picture her contributions to my life are more the pinball grief I get. So I've adopted a more "in one ear and out another" attitude towards pinball. She can bitch, and I can deal. One the plus side she doesn't care when my brother travels 150 miles to visit, we go to a football game, drink a crap load of beer then hit a strip club. She'll even go with us. Am I changing my game room to please her, NOPE.

    DSCN9936 (resized).JPG

    #95 8 months ago
    Quoted from Pinballlew:

    OP what does she really like? Tell her how would she like it if you insist on her getting rid of whatever that is.

    Clothes (the equivalent of 6 normal sized closets 8' wide), shoes (89 pairs), a huge treadmill she hasn't used in 7 years, 2 dozen different bathroom accessory sets (toothbrush, soap dish, cup etc) 4 huge containers of holiday decorations (not Christmas, 3 of those) a couple dozen sets of bathroom towel, shower curtain, rug sets, at least 20 kitchen towel sets, throw rugs, drape sets, couch cushions and more and more. This stuff needs changed out every other month or so from I have learned.

    #96 8 months ago

    That's not a treadmill. It's what women refer to as an
    "Auxillary Clothing Rack" or A.C.R.

    #97 8 months ago
    Quoted from ArcadiusMaximus:

    That's not a treadmill. It's what women refer to as an
    "Auxillary Clothing Rack" or A.C.R.

    It works too...all the clothing you hang on it gets smaller!

    #98 8 months ago
    Quoted from Goronic:

    I don't mind the name man cave that much. I think it basically is universally accepted as a place that would have things that men typically like to do like pool, darts, pinball, drinking, play poker and watching sports. With sports, movie, etc memerobila or other such decor. Also most women like these things to (usually to a lesser degree).

    https://pinside.com/pinball/forum/topic/why-all-the-hate-for-the-term-man-cave-with-poll

    #99 8 months ago

    It's amazing to me that so many of you guys put up with this kind of behavior. The pants... wear them.

    #100 8 months ago

    I see it this way, if you own the house, and pay the bills for it, you have first choice rights for a room in that house to do whatever you want with it.

    Isnt is kinda funny how women all over the world seems to have the same need to control and "doll up" the entire house? I see the same scenario here in Sweden amongst friends (and had a similar one myself), and i read about these scenarios over in the US. ( nothing personal, ladies, just something ive noticed to be shared over borders )

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