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Quoted from snowy_owl:Where do you find these?
My best friend up in Buffalo NY emails me jokes all the time.
Some I can easily download and put on here.
A few I can not. If you like this stuff you can pm me your email address and I will forward some of these to you.
unnamed (10) (resized).jpgNot a caption, but I could not resist passing this on:
An Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.
♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
♦ When wearing a bikini women reveal 90% of their bodies .
Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body .
♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!
♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
♦ Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.
♦ You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
♦ I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penney has an older women’s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor"
♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch.
♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, & he was a drunk.
Does all this make you feel better about aphorisms?
Quoted from ForceFlow:pasted_image (resized).png
This one really hits a home run with me, I wish I could give you a 100 upvotes!
To anyone that does not know, this caption is from a AWESOME movie called The Cabin In The Woods.
And as far as the brain eating stuff, I seen that on the news while ago.
And for a while now all the flesh eating bacteria has also cost lives and limbs. A local girl here was in the news forever with all the amputations she had to have to survive this crazy mess.
I used to always take the boat to the lake as much as I could fishing and swimming, but since all this mess started I rarely go to the lake anymore.
I am even afraid of the ocean, and not because of sharks, but a while back I think it was a beach in Texas someone got the flesh eating stuff while in salt water. (that guy had just got a tattoo and news said it made him more at risk).
Damn everything is just trying to kill us anymore.
Anyway, here is the next post I had ready:
968760A6AE1A43FC92E19DCC3ADC58B4 (resized).png 1 week later
^^^^my flip phone connection to charge looks like that and sometimes takes me 12-15 tries.^^^^
AWESOME POST!
2 weeks later
1 week later
Not a caption, but I had to pass this along:
My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected
Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
1 week later
Quoted from xsvtoys:So, when the doctor tells him to inhale, he sucks in the doctor, and becomes him.
Thanks for clearing that up for me also! (I did get the Radar one).
image016 (resized).jpgQuoted from QuickSilverShelby:Alright! I think the blond psycho and and the cat shit is done.
Some of those are pretty good, and I think the brunette is very cute!
Please post your favorites here!
Quoted from LOTR_breath:Didn't I see that like 5 posts up? LOL
That can happen very easy. Someone makes a new post before catching up on what was already posted.
THANK YOU! Everyone for posting here!
I enjoy all the funny stuff you post! (most I get quick, a few I never got)
I run into funny captions in a lot of topics here, I wish those posters would also include them here.
We are all different, and I read a lot of different topics here, but my top 3 I like to read are: 1. Dogs Rule 2. What Machine Did You Bring Home Today 3. Funny captions.
I think I like these because they are pretty much all positive, and makes me smile.
I hope everyone here has a AWESOME 2021!
image003 (resized).jpegQuoted from girloveswaffles:No caption, but they say a picture says a thousand words ...
And not the confessional, but I have been seeing so much Bernie stuff I am really surprised someone has not done that with a movie scene from "a weekend at Bernie's".
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