(Topic ID: 274214)
Nokomis, FL
Not a caption, but I had to pass this along:
My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected
Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Canmore, AB
"where. long ago, we domesticated a breed of noisy monkey to server our needs...."
I think Bill Burr or Dave Chapelle would be screaming "I thought you were talking about my wife...."
I'm kidding, I'm a kidder. I love AND RESPECT the ruler of my house 
QSS
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