OK, imagine a bizzaro world where the worst possible, ill-advised ideas were made into machines. We all know that TV Shows and Movies make for great pinball. What are some bad ideas? I have a few, please feel free to add, the more obscure and bizarre the better:
Family Affair: Jody! Buffy! Cissy! The stern but lovable Mr. French, and the mumbling bipolar uncle who hates his life. Endless adventures await, help Jody beat a bully, find Buffy's doll, restrain Cissy's lesbian urges, keep the father from committing suicide.
Mr. T: I pity the fool who don't play my game! Get Nancy Reagan to kiss you, collect chains, threaten people to call you MISTER T!
Punky Brewster: Insert increasing breast size joke here:
The Ropers: You loved them on Three's Company, but we couldn't license that game, but we got the spinoff. Help Stanley collect the rent! Helen double- entendre' sex jokes increase multiplyer. The big challenge is to get Mr. Roper to satisfy his lusty wife.
Honey Boo-Boo: increase Honey's sugar content so she can win the pageant, collect tacky dresses, slutty makeup and increase Honey's talent for the talent show.
The Big Ragoo: We couldn't get a license for Laverne, or Shirley, or Lenny & Squiggy (how great would that be?), so we got Eddie Mekka to reprise "The Big Ragoo". Try to get Shirley to third base, try to get a singing gig. Attempt to revive a career...
The Family Circus: We love comics turned into machines..because we all love the Bugs Bunny machine, and the Flintstones, uh..and Space Jam? Make Jeffy take a roundabout walk home, blame mistakes on "Not me" and "Ida Know", make Dolly say funny mispronounced words, Get Thel to the pharmacy to get anti depressants. Machine will be circular and everything will be grossly disproportionate.
Small Wonder: Vickie is a robot! It writes itself
Helen Crump: Andy Taylor's girlfriend, grade papers, get jealous at Andy, multiplier as you sleep with Goober, then Gomer, then Otis and top it off with Howard Sprague. Ron Howard, not included.
USFL Football Madness!: guide your way through the exciting USFL football league and win the USFL Championship, choose your team, are you an Arizona Wrangler? a Memphis Showboat? Or an Oklahoma Outlaw? Losing teams go bankrupt, sue the NFL on Anti-Trust violations and avoid having Donald Trump kill the league.
The Love Boat: goals are: Issac Your Bartender: serve enough drinks to make Nancy Walker and Milton Berle drunk, Gopher: fend off romantic advances from Martha Raye, Mackenzie Phillips and Ted Knight., Doc: can you keep Carole Channing and Phylils Diller from spreading VD on the ship, hurry, they got Abe Vigoda and Henry Morgan! Julie McCoy: score as much coke as you can from special guest star Andy Gibb and try to hide your habit from the crew. Captain Stubing: fend off the romantic advances of Charles Nelson Reilly and Paul Lynde on the gay cruise, and try to find someone to pilot the ship during a hurricane as you sit at the Captain's table with Brett Somers and Jimmy Baio, Vickie...eww, just ewww (try to get her dumped overboard late at night). Charo: get Jamie Farr and Gary Burghoff to teach you how to speak English, win a special solo guitar bonus when you get enough "cucchi cucchi" points.
You get the idea, pitch me the worst ideas for pinball that live somewhere in your twisted psyche, nothing is sacred, shameless mockery, excessive snarky-ness and and blatant thumbs down votes encouraged.