*Florida Man Arrested Outside Olive Garden After Eating Pasta Belligerently*

A drunk Florida man was arrested outside Olive Garden after eating pasta in an inappropriate manner.

[...]

A man was reportedly asking restaurant patrons for money and yelling at them using explicit language.

When police arrived they discovered a shirtless man sitting on a bench outside the establishment. The man was allegedly shoveling spaghetti into his mouth with his hands.

The man, identified as 32-year-old Ben Padgett, was placed under arrest for disorderly intoxication, according to the newspaper.

However, before being placed in handcuffs officers gave Padgett a paper towel so he could wipe the pasta off his face.

The Herald also reports while in the back of the police car, Padgett began violently twisting his body, kicking his legs and smashing his head against the metal cage partition.

FLORIDA WOMAN CALLS COPS BECAUSE THERMOS CONTAINING SEMEN MAY EXPLODE

PASCO COUNTY, Florida - A Florida woman called the Pasco County Sheriff's Office because she was worried that a thermos containing semen could explode at any moment.

According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, deputies responded around 6 p.m. on Wednesday, May 17, 2017 to a residence in Port Richey, Florida after a 26-year-old Port Richey contacted Pasco County Fire Rescue.

The woman explained to emergency personnel that she was trying to get pregnant via artificial insemination and was trying to store sperm according to the directions. But after she placed two vials of sperm inside a 2-quart stainless steel thermos and added dry ice, she closed the lid without removing the rubber O-ring as the directions required.

When a deputy arrived on scene, he advised fire rescue " ... of the potential for an explosion due to increasing pressure inside the device."

Pasco County Fire Rescue crews carried the container outside of the residence to a safe location and then used a pair of channel lock pliers to remove the thermos lid, releasing the pressure, and removing the danger. The container was then returned to the woman without incident.

We can’t let this thread die. Let’s branch it out to Ohio/Wisconsin/Indiana man. I know you guys have some stories.

https://www.dispatch.com/news/20190905/naked-man-accused-of-breaking-into-ohio-home-stealing-pillow

FD026578-97D4-4112-A473-08B42415990E (resized).jpeg

https://www.foxnews.com/us/wisconsin-man-third-dwi-allegedly-driving-drunk-live-chicken-shoulder

.

Scooter and riding mower chases are part of the Florida Man canon, for sure.

About 30 years ago, a woman told me about something that happened in south GA (which is basically north Florida). She was at a Piggly Wiggly, and a very large woman was trying to leave with a canned ham between her legs. The ham dropped on the floor loudly, and she spun around and said “WHO THREW THAT HAM AT ME?”

My wife and I still say that to each other whenever the situation calls for it.

We’re all Florida now, man.