My Italian heritage means I know a thing or two about "protection money" and yeah: Insurance is the somehow compulsory-legalized form of racketeering.

But if ya'll want a story, the quoted exchange reminds me of the first and most puzzling insurance claim I ever had to make. In 2000 I was renting an apt in Lexington KY, cars parked in back first-come-first-serve along the fence in the lot assigned to tenants (landlords had a large garage we weren't allowed to block). Late one night a storm rolls in: large limb falls off a tree bordering the property line and onto my car: an worn-out but beloved '88 T-Bird. The rare two-year-only design with aero beak, smoked taillights, and cool wraparound bubble window... which was now shattered between a freshly deformed roof and trunk.

I pull the limb off the car, throw a tarp on the hole, and call the landlords, who call their adjuster, who comes by in the morning an either (I now don't recall exactly) looked up the policy or called (the different?) insurer of the property where the tree was rooted. Either way, the crux of it came to words I still remember directly from his mouth:

"Well since that tree is otherwise healthy we consider that an act of god and won't cover the damage, sorry".

I was incredulous: "Unpredictable acts of god aren't covered?! Isn't that what insurance is *for*?!"

"In this policy, yeah we don't do Acts of God. It's property liability. So, if it were a dead tree we would cover that..."

"So you're telling me if I wanted to scam a claim all I would have had to do was park my car under a dead tree and conveniently "wait" for it to fall?!?"

I actually saw the flinch in his face as he considered this before responding "Well, not exactly but, yeah."

While pondering this preposterous weasel legaleze, I realized the limb which was still next to the car and tree, was actually wilted and even slightly brown. "Wait, this limb shouldn't have wilted so badly in just 12 hours if it was healthy like the tree right? So seems like it might have been diseased or dead already which is why it fell off...?"

"We can't say for sure. If you had a photo as it fell..."

Back then odds were low but unexpectedly for him, it turned out I did: I had a early-gen digital camera that didn't take great pictures but of course I used it in the immediate aftermath and thus didn't have to wait for film developing. It was already there! And sure enough the leaves on the limb as it sat on the car freshly soaked in rain were already sort of pale looking. HA! He didn't really have a rejoinder for that, so he sent another adjuster to inspect the car to approve the claim.

Which led to another odd exchange as he evaluated the car's roof damage and how a particular dent was going to be especially troublesome (read, expensive) to repair... to the point where that plus the rare ($1400!!!) glass could mean the car would be totaled. I gave him the background: "Oh well that dent was already there, from a stupid teen/college mishap". This time it was the adjuster's term to be incredulous, with one of the few authentic "triple-takes" I've ever personally witnessed. "Wait, that dent was already there? It's right next to the tree damage." "Yeah, long story, I'm not proud of it... I wasn't that bad but like you said I knew it would be a pain to fix. If you look again you can see where I tried versus the tree stuff. So right now I just need the window replaced, I don't expect a new car out the deal, it's obviously got some battle scars." "Son, I've been doing this for over 20 years and you're only the second person who's ever been straight-up honest with me. So here's the deal: we both know this car isn't worth much but I can tell you're attached and not trying to pull one, so I'll write the check to cover the full amount including the extra dent".

I'm still kinda baffled by the whole exchange all this time later.

And even more baffled as to how most people only deal with tree damage once or maybe twice in their lives... but that incident was just the start for me. I've since had two more vehicles, and every single residence I ever called home in KY (4), damaged/claimed due to trees, including two roof replacements! I honestly don't get it, but those are stories for another time.

Sorry for the threadjack. Moral of the story is, even though we've made out OK thus far, I still don't trust insurance.