It sounds like you love pinball but you have no support. Always remember to balance things(money family and friends). Anybody who is not into pinball will not get it. Pinside will come at you pitchforks and torches every once in while but all in all they are mostly good people. The solid thing that has kept into hobby is @who-dey! Just some guy on pinside who posted a lot(maybe a troll). I agreed with 100% of his posts. Well we are close friends now. If you don't have someone to talk to this (rare) hobby seems pointless. Don't be afraid to take break. Pinball is stressful hobby! Feel free to send me a pm if you like drunken nonsense.