Somebody musta been suckered into some blood diamonds!

Marriage *today* is a losing prospect, most people in this thread have pointed out how much of a sham the industry is, diamonds and jewelers trying to get you to shell out for junk. The planning and ceremony costs tens of thousands. The “benefits” are nonexistent. The taxes and benefits for being legally single are so much better, unfortunately.

What part of being “legally married” is so important? Does that really change your relationship, some silly ceremony?

My uncle has been with his girl for 26 years. They call each other husband and wife, because it doesn’t matter much. They’re happy and their relationship has been rock solid, which is really the most important thing!

If you insist on the ceremony and the hoopla then get a prenup just for posterity. It’s better to have and not need, than to need and not have!

I know it was more... but I went to Tiffany Jewelers and got a Solitaire Diamond set. Its classic and spend as much as you want. I was close to 1 carat at around 10k

Get her a pin. If she gets mad, it wasn't meant to be!

kidding.

Being legally married to me is much more than a ceremony. It’s entering into and showing as much of a commitment as you possibly can to each other. Our ceremony was special, but not because of the cost. Afterward, we had a simple cake and punch reception in the church basement and had a blast because our friends and family were there to share it with us. Unfortunately I understand that sometimes the debt from an elaborate wedding lasts longer than the marriage. I’ve been greatly blessed to have the opposite experience.

Buy from a Pist off stripper (Post sugar daddy) in a Big Texas City. Ton's in the paper and want ad's.

(Joke)

Ask drew brees what he thinks about diamonds. The fool actually was suckered into throwing $15 million at “investment grade” diamonds to diversify his portfolio.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/buying-diamonds-avoid-drew-breess-9-million-mistake-2018-04-06

I'm on the vote for talking with the lady about practical type of stone/diamond to get.

I have not heard anyone say this yet... I bought my wife a decent sized ring when we got married... Fast forward she became an RN and always complained about constantly washing her hands and how she did not want to ruin the ring or possibly lose it. Often times the ring would cut the gloves she always had to put on/off.

So, she stopped wearing the ring... Now, the wife decided to wear silicone rings (whatever those style of rings are made out of) and the expensive ring sits in her makeup table.

Had I known she was gonna do that... Might as well just bought her a simple small gold band!!!!

Talk to the lady and you can potentially save $$$$$$!!!

Repeating some others advice, I would go vintage if that is something she would be into. My wife did not want a huge diamond. I found a ring on esty from the 70's, large sapphire (her birthstone) surround by small diamonds on a white gold ring, $1400. She loved it. We bought her wedding band new, white gold with small diamonds, fit perfectly with the vintage engagement ring, $1800. All in, well below 4k.

Etsy had a great selection of engagement rings 7-8 years ago when I was shopping, I can only assume it is bigger now.

Good Luck!

I'm glad I bought mine when we were broke. I know she's occasionally jealous of these young girls getting silly rings, but I don't think it's a big deal. I've bought her other expensive jewelry that I've never seen her wear. Adam Ruins Everything had a show on diamonds that pretty much mirrors what Vid said. There isn't any actual value. Pinball isn't a fair comparison. I've made money on the majority of games I've sold. If I lost money, it's maybe 10%, 20% max. I'd be surprised if you were able to recoup 25% of the cost of a diamond.

I did however go all out on the proposal. I wrote a song for her and put it on a CD. When she opened the CD player the label said "Marry Me". The song also went on our next record. We were by no means successful, but she heard it at hundreds of shows. I think that is more memorable than just spending money.

If you really love the girl, sometimes you just need to bite your upper lip and spend the money.
Most women want the ring. It doesn’t have to be the Hope Diamond, but it had better be something that you know will make her happy.

This is probably not the best time in the relationship to allow your inner tight wad to shine.

After about 6 months of dating my girlfriend asked if I would ever sell a pinball machine to buy her a ring.

I said hell no, these games are expensive, I can buy a ring for 20 bucks.

For our 2nd Christmas together, I thought she had been hinting that she really wanted me to get her a really good leaf blower like I have(she really enjoys doing yard work at her house), but I was not sure.

So I asked her what she wanted for Christmas, on a 300.00 limit.

She lit up and asked if she could buy a ring. I said jewelry is a total waste of money, but you can do what you want.

I even took her to a few stores. She found a ring she liked at Target.

In my case she knows at this time I have no interest in the whole formal marriage thing, and she is good with that.

Some of her family is pretty old fashioned, so I guess she wanted a ring to satisfy them for a while.

Anyway, I tried to get her to pick a ring with a fake rock and better gold, but no, she wanted a real rock.

Vid is spot on with his post. Diamonds are a total waste of money.

Also, after shopping with such a small budget, it taught my girlfriend how designer crap does not really look that much better for the cost involved.

The budget I gave her was 300.00, it briefly went to ok, I will do 340.00 if that is the one you really want, back to going with a 240.00 one she ended up liking the best.

You can spend 16 grand on a ring, you can spend 160 grand on a ring. All of that is just a waste of money in my opinion.

I only wasted 240.00. and she is happy, and I am happy.

(also I could not vote in the poll, all the choices were way too high).

Go to your local GIA certified (it's on their website) jewelry shop that's been around for a billion years and have the old man working there find you a couple diamonds from their guy. The 4 C's are the thing to look at, but the world has hyped them up to a point where they make you think that if you don't get a VVS1 D diamond, you might as well have bought a pile of garbage. The only way you're going to know is if you can see them with your own eyes. You'd be surprised at how little difference there is. There's a lot of lower graded diamonds out there that have their inclusions on the outside and would be well hidden by how it's mounted and also you might not even like something crystal clear and want to hang out in the J's and K's for color. They're warm and nice.

Buy a diamond that you like, not what the internet tells you to like.

It's like a car, it loses all of its value once you get it off of the lot, but we'd all be driving the same fleet white shit boxes if that's all it was about.

miss your football insight over in that other thread!

You've been given a lot of advice here. Some good, some super cynical, some just terrible. Here's what you really need to know:
1) Diamonds are NOT a financial investment! Don't ever listen to that crap. Your wife will wear it all of her life and then most likely hand it down to one of your children. The actual cash outlay will never come back. Also, God forbid, you get divorced, the ring will net maybe half of what you paid, assuming you even get it back. But, on a more positive note, a nice engagement ring may well be an investment in a happy marriage. Most but not all women like engagement rings, and have expectations on what is appropriate. Don't start off your life together by being cheap and in effect telling her she's just not that important in the overall scheme of things.

2) Find out what your wife likes by doing some casual window shopping with her in various jewelry stores. Have her try on a few different designs and styles. Don't go out and buy something only to find out she HATES it! You may also find she prefers a different stone than diamond, or a certain cut or setting, or actually prefers a smaller stone for one reason or another. Feel out her preferences. Then go back later and buy what she really wanted and pick a time and place to surprise her with it.

3) Spend enough money. This will depend on your financial circumstances, what your wife thinks is nice, and possibly what her friends have already received. Don't be the cheapass who makes good money but bought his wife a diamond chip when all of her friends have a 1 carat solitaire. Your future wife should have a really nice ring that she will be proud of. Within reason of course. If you are afraid to spend a lot on her, and you can of course afford it, maybe you're marrying the wrong woman. If you are thinking buying her a nice ring will cut in on the amount of money you can spend on pinballs, maybe SHE is marrying the wrong man!

4) I have been happily married for 24 years to a woman most men would give a kidney to be with. I have found as long as I make sure she gets whatever she really wants (within reason again), she never questions what I buy in the way of pinballs or other hobbies. Or, happy wife, happy life. Way back when before we were married, my wife saw a marquis shaped diamond that really blew her away in a local store. It was a little over a carat, good clarity and color, and cost something around maybe $6k at the time, give or take. She loved it, was the envy of her friends, I could reasonably afford it at the time, and I have never regretted the decision since.

5) Whatever you do, don't....do NOT... try to buy your wife a synthetic diamond and pass it off as the real deal!! That is just pathetic and unbelievably cheap! And she will sooner or later find out. That is something you will never, ever live down! There are basically only a handful of occasions in life where the time, place and details will be remembered forever. Your engagement is one of those. Make it as memorable as you can.

This. IMHO diamonds are way overrated and one of the biggest scams in modern history for the above reasons. Look into engagement rings with alternative stones like Moissanite, Morganite, or Moonstones. These rings are a fraction of the cost of diamond rings and arguably look just as good if not better. More importantly, ask her what she wants and get an idea of what she likes/dislikes in rings.

Maybe the hints she’s dropping are about Stern’s Lord of the Ring’s.

Good lord, your advice sucks......other than your point that diamonds are not a financial investment. You are so condescending towards a woman’s intellect. Implying that all they need is frivolous jewelry given to them by their man in order to keep them happy. Happy wife, happy life, is best demonstrated by being honest and faithful to them, not by buying them shiny objects that have no intrinsic value. Your idea is akin to pointing a laser at a wall in an effort to entertain a house cat.

Imagine spending less than a pinball machine on her ring, and then literally buying multiple pinball machines every year for the next decade at least. Pretty cheap.

Wait, according to vid she, or you (if you get it back), can get nothing for it so it's worth zero. Unless you value a store credit. Maybe Tilt Amusements or pinballsales.com will start accepting diamonds....

You both have good points and i do not believe he was thinking that way at all. Most women do like nice bling but it is not the be all. If the op really needs to come to Pinside to get this advice me thinks he has other issues than worrying about the cost of a ring vs a pin.

What happened to equal rights in this country ?

I want to know if she proposes to me. How big of a rock do I get ? Do I get a pinball machine too ?

LTG : )

The point is to try to understand what your woman likes and then help her to realize her wants and desires. Some women love jewelry, some flowers, some just your undivided attention. Whatever makes her happy should be your goal.

It should go without saying, but perhaps it needs to be said apparently, if you do not love cherish, honor and respect your wife and remain faithful to her, nothing else really matters, does it? All the flowers and jewelry in the world isn't going to make up for that.

The op's original question was to attempt to identify a reasonable amount to spend on his soon to be fiancée's engagement ring. And how to figure out what she might like best. Not to debate the relative resale value of used jewelry, the Debeers corporation, or the many ways women can screw over men if they have a mind to. In response to his original question, he's been given reasonably good advice from a number of people here.

yup you lose at least 1/2 the value of a diamond as soon as you leave the store, worst purchase known to man. its a suckers market. instead, get her a brand new stern topper, it will triple in value in less than 1 yr.

i know 3 women who simply went out and bought their own ring.

"There was no way I could trust Slammy to buy me a ring that I actually liked, nor did I want to argue about how much it cost. I bought it myself, and he saw it for the first time on our wedding day when he opened the box and put it on my finger."

"My stepmom gave me the ring from her first husband. I had it re-mounted into a modern style setting that I love."

"I knew that you guys would just buy a stolen ring from some Serbian murderers; so I bought my own, less bloody diamond, from a broker in Amsterdam. Gave me a little less guilt..."

I’ve seen some articles where they’ll buy their own diamonds because they are marrying themselves, a ghost of a ship once, and sometimes other inanimate objects.

Of course the love from any of the above being honest is more honorable than anything dishonest so who am I to judge.

At least when they finally get divorced, they only have themselves to blame.

Find a good reputable local dealer that will cover warranties, etc. We have a local dealer that is all about service. https://www.shaneco.com/ We can take the ring in anytime to get cleaned or have it plated with re-rhodium to bring the ring back to life. She will be wearing it daily and it will take a beating. My wife lost the main stone and our dealer was going to replace it-no questions asked, then we ended up finding it in the carpet one day. We usually have it cleaned a couple times a year and re-rhodium applied about every two years. Again it is all about service-buy local with reputable dealer that offers a lifetime warranty.

I personally recommend a three stone white gold ring that represents past, present and future. Life is short don't be cheap and don't buy another style gem stone-she wants a diamond. Find good quality diamonds that sparkle with little to no inclusions. Another good thing about the three stone white gold is it can become a stack able ring as well. Over the years we have added two diamond bands on top and bottom making it look classy but also bling bling. I do not care for the single princess cut diamonds that tend to protrude out too much and remind me of a typical traditional ring. My wife dislikes yellow gold and only wears white gold or silver.
I also really like Canary diamonds and love the yellow look(different).

I am not into jewlery and agree it is a waste of money but it makes your significant other happy and that is priceless. Life is short-finding someone to love and share it with makes life fulfilling. Good luck with the engagement, and any women that can put up with a compulsive pinball enthusiast deserves the best!

Gimmick with caveats (like u must get checked BY THEM only or it’s void)... just insure the ring through jewelers mutual cheap - for what Littman charges retail u could pay for a lifetime of premiums too

Your best bet: talk to her and figure out her expectations. If she wants a diamond, u better get one - this is the modern day dowry and don’t be a cheap ass with a substitute or u will regret it. Spend what u are comfortable with - based on your choices a NIB stern seems about right. 2 months salary is marketing dribble... shop around, a lot. Diamonds in that price range all should be certified by a lab and it also makes it easy to nail the best price. If it’s a surprise buy the diamond, put it in a simple ring and leave $ on the table for a wedding set she picks out down the road and stone is remounted in. If it’s not a surprise just buy what she wants.

Buy just under a karate and you will get a huge price break. And just tell her it’s a carat. She will never check that.

Do you love your future wife more or less than a pinball machine you usually buy? If the answer is more, then you should spend more than you do on a pinball machine. If the answer is less, you probably shouldn't be getting married.

You can't "love" a pinball machine (well, maybe BOP, if you are an incel).

But, if you are a "math guy", you can figure out that the average marriage lasts 8 years and most (54%) end in divorce.

Get her a plain gold band and tell her it was your Great-grandmothers (nobody ever put a diamond into a wedding ring until 1939)

great-great-grandma-meets-granddaughter_196113-132873d (resized).jpg

But certainly you understood my point, right? And you're suggesting he buy a band and lie about its origin. Nice foundation for a marriage.

Don't buy a band, pull it off your sleeping great grandmother.

She'll blame the staff

Yeah, if buying a diamond ring for the girl you want to marry is such a big deal, don’t get married.

I would say if the size or material of that ring matters to your betrothed, you can expect problems. I would also say buy some sort of diamond if you can afford it. Anyone with any interest in what that ring is made of is gonna judge. Just make sure it looks like an f'n diamond. Pawn shops can be useful...

You indicate that you regularly buy pins so that indicates you have a reasonable amount of wealth and aren't a minimum wage worker. You and your (soon to be) fiancé should discuss your finances and set a budget that works with your financial situation; finances are an important part of marriage and both spouses should be concerned about them. The two or three month salary thing is marketing BS; either your poor and can't afford it or your wealthy and that's a ludicrous amount of money.

When my wife and I decided to get married, we shopped together for her wedding ring. I kept the ring until I proposed to her. There's no way I would buy something as important as an engagement ring without her being present; I'm not going to be wearing it the rest of my life.

One thing I thought was a fascinating bit of salesmanship was when the sales person told us to go outside with the ring to look at it in natural light. Obviously we looked like the kind of people that could be trusted but the real reason was the sales person was giving us a chance to discuss the purchase privately without us having to leave and come back later.

My (now) wife wanted a simple solitaire, so I got her a ring 100+ years old largely because the diamond was an old European cut. I figured if she was going to have a common design it better be unique in some way. If you're going for something simple go antique is my $.02. Of course lab grown is best, but for whatever reason some women don't want that. Just make sure it isn't a conflict diamond.

Not sure how I got here. Was looking for 80B flipper rebuilds.

Anyways, diamond engagments rings aren't traditional, they are part of an advertising campaign from DeBeers in the 1930s. They were as bad as the hallmark greeting card company with inventing holidays and occasions for you to spend money that are completely meaningless. Here is a good video explaining the history of engagement rings.

If you're into the diamond thing (you can still get married without a diamond, despite what De Beers would have you believe), go used. Someone else's bad decision means great savings for you!