Dad refuses to play a single game of pinball with me.

Started 3 years ago by CrazyFliprFingrs in forum All Pinball > All Pinball.


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Dad refuses to play a single game of pinball with me.

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By CrazyFliprFingrs

3 years ago

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  • Started 3 years ago
  • 36 posts
  • 25 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 3 years ago by CrazyFliprFingrs

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3 years ago

My Dad is 75, the very definition of curmudgeon.
He lives on the east coast and visits me a couple times a year.
He does not understand why I collect pinball machines, thinks its stupid.
I said, Dad, if you would just play one game with me, you would understand why I love these.
He absolutely refuses, says, "I have no interest in this whatsoever"
One of these days when he departs this planet I will buy a BBB and a MM on the very same day with his money, and not feel bad at all about doing it. Not for a second.


3 years ago
CrazyFliprFingrs said:

He does not understand why I collect pinball machines, thinks its stupid

been there before. my dad even played old EM machines in college. i think it's a different generation, we work to live..whereas they live to work.


3 years ago

Sorry to hear that. My Dad loves them as much as I do.. He's never collected them, but we've played pins together my whole life.. My Profile story even mentions this because I will always remember it..

Hope things some day change for you and yours... Have you tried maybe another member of the family.. Maybe the two of you could Double Team him into a game..Ha

Bill in Indiana


3 years ago

I need to invite my dad over, he hasn't seen either of my pins. He bought me an evel knievel when I was 7, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind playing a game of pinball


3 years ago

I had the same thing with my father with video games and computers when I was growing up. My dad, who was a typing teacher for nearly 30 years, felt that computers were simply "glorified typewriters".

He's so bad that whenever my mom buys a new computer he insists on me copying over Word Perfect 5.1 for DOS. Still has the F key overlay and everything. sigh.


3 years ago
Ballsofsteel said:

i think it's a different generation, we work to live..whereas they live to work.

Great quote BOS.

This is sad to hear. I think people have different ideas of why people like certain hobby's....and just don't agree at all. It's like grown men can't enjoy a game of pinball?? Or owning a machine? Judgmental people suck.


3 years ago

It's not what he's into.

Why don't you join him in what he does enjoy ?

The day will come where you'll never get another chance.

LTG


3 years ago

I sold my problematic Eight Ball Deluxe to a man in Sacramento with a seven year old son.
I arrived home and called him and asked if how the project was coming along.
He told me his son had already diagnosed, desoldered and replaced five bad transistors.
Seven year old kid.
I said. You must be really proud of him.
He said, He loves pinball just as much as I do.

I am not too happy right now, can you tell?


3 years ago
LTG said:

It's not what he's into.
Why don't you join him in what he does enjoy ?
The day will come where you'll never get another chance.
LTG

He does not enjoy anything. If he did, that would be nice.


3 years ago
CrazyFliprFingrs said:

One of these days when he departs this planet I will buy a BBB and a MM on the very same day with his money, and not feel bad at all about doing it. Not for a second.

Respectfully, if I am way off base, please forgive me, but you outta rethink this. Maybe he feels that you attained something in your life that he never could, whatever that hobby would have been, and your invitation just reminds him of what he feels is failure. Don't know what kind of circumstances you grew up in or how he feels about himself. If you have never seen "Fields of Dreams" it is about the anger a man has towards the "wasted" life of his father. But what it brings out is that we often do not know our fathers when they have life in their eyes and fire in the bellies before the world tears their balls off and leaves them a broken shell, and until we experience the same, we really are unable to relate.

Try to accept him for who he is. You are angry and when he does go, what you might find is that you may not be grieving him as much as the loss of the hope of the opportunity to have related successfully to him. that grief is much heavier.

Regardless of how he chooses to act, it is not a statement about you and more a statement about himselff.

It funny. I hate rap. But my son recently sent me a link to a song called "Yesterday" by Atmosphere. Very touching. If you do, listen through the end.

I hope I am not coming off too strong, but I probably am. It is something I feel so strongly about that I do get intense about it.

I hope things improve for you with your Pop.


3 years ago
CrazyFliprFingrs said:

I sold my problematic Eight Ball Deluxe to a man in Sacramento with a seven year old son.
I arrived home and called him and asked if how the project was coming along.
He told me his son had already diagnosed, desoldered and replaced five bad transistors.
Seven year old kid.
I said. You must be really proud of him.
He said, He loves pinball just as much as I do.
I am not too happy right now, can you tell?

I fixed a Funhouse subway with painter's tape once.

/got nuthin


3 years ago

I am very sorry that your Dad does not love everything that you do, but everybody is different. Rather than dwell on the fact that your Dad does not appreciate your hobby, try to concentrate on doing things with him that you both like even if it something simple like going to a movie, fishing, or watching TV and chatting.

My Dad and I were very similar in a lot of ways. We liked a lot of the same things, we did not get bored with things very easily, and we even chose the same major in college and careers.
As a kid I remember wanting a plastic pinball machine that was probably about $90 and ended up getting a cheaper one that was probably more like $35. We could not afford as much luxury back then, but it was still fun for me to have the cheaper game.
I remember going to a couple of distant relative's houses for family visits where they had a real arcade pinball machine and my dad and I were all over that and had fun.

I would give almost anything to have my Dad visit now that I actually own a couple of great pinball machines myself. Sadly, my Dad passed away from lung cancer (a non-smoker) 3 years ago at the age of 71.
I guess what I am trying to say is make the most of the time you have with your Dad regardless of what activities you do together.


3 years ago

And then ud have the money to ship Yukon too!


3 years ago
the96stang said:

And then ud have the money to ship Yukon too!

lol, played it yet?


3 years ago
MrWizzo said:

CrazyFliprFingrs said:One of these days when he departs this planet I will buy a BBB and a MM on the very same day with his money, and not feel bad at all about doing it. Not for a second.
Respectfully, if I am way off base, please forgive me, but you outta rethink this. Maybe he feels that you attained something in your life that he never could, whatever that hobby would have been, and your invitation just reminds him of what he feels is failure. Don't know what kind of circumstances you grew up in or how he feels about himself. If you have never seen "Fields of Dreams" it is about the anger a man has towards the "wasted" life of his father. But what it brings out is that we often do not know our fathers when they have life in their eyes and fire in the bellies before the world tears their balls off and leaves them a broken shell, and until we experience the same, we really are unable to relate.
Try to accept him for who he is. You are angry and when he does go, what you might find is that you may not be grieving him as much as the loss of the hope of the opportunity to have related successfully to him. that grief is much heavier.
Regardless of how he chooses to act, it is not a statement about you and more a statement about himselff.
It funny. I hate rap. But my son recently sent me a link to a song called "Yesterday" by Atmosphere. Very touching. If you do, listen through the end.
I hope I am not coming off too strong, but I probably am. It is something I feel so strongly about that I do get intense about it.
I hope things improve for you with your Pop.

Thanks, I appreciate that.


3 years ago

OK, unsolicited advice.

I don't think my Dad has ever played any of my pins.

I'm lucky, though, that he has gone on many pinball trips with me, delivering games, picking up games, etc.

He's helped with plenty of projects, engineering solutions to problems, helping me build crates, pallets, jigs, gluing up old rickety cabinets, etc. Dad enjoys woodworking.. I don't.

We have photography in common, I guess, and really, I like to work with my hands and he likes to work with his hands. Maybe not on the same things most of the time, but on some things, yes.

I guess I'm lucky that I get along well with him, and get to see him more often than a 'couple times a year'.

I don't have many regrets in life. I've made my fair share of mistakes, learned from them all. I hope anyways.

One thing I *do* regret is not taking the opportunity to get to know my Grandfather when I had the opportunity. He passed away in February at 93, and had Alzheimers disease. For 7 or 8 years, give or take, he hadn't known who I was. As I talked with his few living friends (when you live to be 93, you outlive most of your friends!), I realized that he was a very wise man, someone I'd really like to be more like - and when I had the opportunity to get to know him, I was just a kid who was young and had 'better things to do'. I'm sure this is a pretty common story

Find something you've got in common with your Dad, and enjoy it. Even if it has to be something he enjoys. And yes, there is something he enjoys, whether you're willing to admit it or not.

Pinball is a part of your life - it isn't the whole life. Pinball was too large a part of my life for a few years, and I missed out on some really good things, and ended up ignoring pinball for a couple years at one point, because I got burned out.

I hope your relationship with your Dad improves. My 4 year old comes out in my workshop all the time. I wait til he goes to bed to start wrenching on games, but inevitably, some nights he gets up out of bed and wanders out there. He wants to help so badly. Not because he enjoys pinball - because he wants to spend time with me. Some nights, I just stop working, pick him up and set him on the workbench, and pull up my stool. We talk about whatever he wants to talk about, hang out, and have a great time.

I hope when your Dad is gone, you've got more to remember him by than a MM and BBB. Seriously.

My prized possession? Besides my kids? My Grandfather's flag. He was in WW2 and had full Military Honors at his funeral. His wishes were that *I* have the flag. I found out the day of his funeral. I own a buttload of pins, and have owned damn near every collectible pin under the sun, but even my favorites now mean very little in comparison to the that.

I wish I'd taken the opportunity to get to know him better, he obviously thought very highly of me.

Sometimes we have a hard time understanding or identifying with someone who is different than we are - from a different time, from a different country, whatever the case may be.


3 years ago

My dad isn't into pinball, but he remembers playing EM and early SS pins back in high school.


3 years ago

My first pinball memory is my father taking me to play on my 6th birthday or so. Then when I was 11, he bought us a Team One machine. Been an addict ever since.


3 years ago

My dad has no interest in pinball but respects my love for it. Everybody has a hobby, and to disrespect or belittle a loved one's hobby is not cool. Hopefully this is not the case with your father. My dad recently told me and my siblings "Your mother and I made the decision to have children and so we owe you kids everything, but you kids made no such decision to have parents and so you owe us nothing. But when it comes to your children, just remember, you made the decision to have them and therefore owe that child everything.


3 years ago

I really can't see myself blowing twenty grand on two machines, no matter how I got the money, but I'm just feeling pissed off. Reminds me of the words of Ernest Hemingway's son.

'And as they lowered the casket into the ground, all I could think was I will never have another chance to disappoint him'


3 years ago
CrazyFliprFingrs said:

My Dad is 75, the very definition of curmudgeon.
One of these days when he departs this planet I will buy a BBB and a MM on the very same day with his money, and not feel bad at all about doing it. Not for a second.

At least you have your Dad here to have the discussion. My Dad departed in 2005, my Mom in 1996. I would gladly give all my pins away for the chance to speak with either of them again.

LTG is right, find something your Dad likes and spend time with him doing it. It's no different than spending time with your kids when they're little. You can never get those times back.


3 years ago

Your Dad sounds like he hates pinball as much as my wife. At least you don't have to live with your dad....


3 years ago

I started collecting the year after my father passed away and its really too bad because he would of loved tinkering inside the machines. He was meticulous and had an unlimited amount of patience...something I did not inherit. I would trade all my pins to be able to spend more time with my parents.


3 years ago

What activities do you compromise on and do with your father, that perhaps you're not that fond of?


3 years ago

my dad used to take me to play pinball when i was little. he still likes to play.
the newer machines sometimes confuse him. he doesn't really get what the modes are all about. he loves to shoot the ramps though.


3 years ago

My dad used to be an operator back in the 80's. We had pins, pool tables, video games at our house all the time. I played to no end and he never played anything but pool with me. Now that I collect he snubs his nose up and says I am wasting my money. Oh well, he got me into the hobby in the first place.


3 years ago

If your father is truly impossible to please. Use that as his greatest lesson to you and do not repeat the behavior with your children.


3 years ago
LTG said:

It's not what he's into.
Why don't you join him in what he does enjoy ?
The day will come where you'll never get another chance.
LTG

Well, thats what I am doing.
he enjoys scrubbing and cleaning my house, so thats what I will be doing for the next three days, vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing, cleaning, climbing on ladders and getting cobwebs, I can't tell you how ecstatic this visit is going, its the most fun I have ever had. Sigh.


3 years ago

Sounds like my father n law! He calls pins "kids toy's!" Has no interest when he comes over, I just figure he has no coordination But my Dad loves pins, and plays when he comes over all the time!!


3 years ago

Quote from my Dad :

"Why don't you collect postage stamps instead?"


3 years ago
Winball_Pizard said:

Your Dad sounds like he hates pinball as much as my wife. At least you don't have to live with your dad....

Haaaaaaaaaaaa! Same here, Winball!!! My wife will NOT touch one of my pins, watch me play, or even get near them. She thinks it is the most ridiculous thing a grown man could do.

I asked her to hold a wire one night while I was soldering on a pin and she cussed the entire time. My wife doesn't say REAL bad words. But, with her thinking I'm wasting my time and my money, that what we were doing was boring, she busted my balls with the "F-Bomb"!!! I nearly dropped my soldering iron!!!

Mike


3 years ago

Have you got kids?
If so, get them to guilt the old man into playing a few games of pinball with them. Grandkids are harder to refuse than your own kids in my experience.

Sneaky, but it may just put a crack in your dad's armour.


3 years ago

Sorry to hear that.

My dad died when I was young. Be thankful you can even still speak with him.

Seriously who cares about pinball.. Be as close as you can.

Pro tip: record his voice.

Seriously record his voice..


3 years ago

The only advice I can an add:

Record his voice.

Seriously.

If anyone reading this 1) Likes their dad and 2) he's still alive. Record his voice.

Pretty much the only advice I was given when I was young that I still regret.

Talk to him and record his voice.


3 years ago

Had a few beers last night still true though.


3 years ago

Thanks Squish.
I finally got him to play a game of pinball.
He didn't like it, but I thought it was cool that he would at least meet me halfway.



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