I’m really sorry to hear and for your loss too. Hang in there and I wish I could say something that makes it better. Honestly I can’t.
Lost my mom at a young-ish age when I wasn’t 30 yet so understand your feelings. It’s been a long time and still miss her every day. She died in her mid-40’s of Lupas. I wish I spent more time with her when she was doing poorly. Regret every day I didn’t spend the time with her when I could. Irony I guess when I’m almost her age of passing and now in her shoes with health.