It would help if you told us which game you're talking about, but I'll take a shot.
On Stern's, you can enable player competition mode thru standard settings or the install menu. When this is enabled, you can hold in the left flipper button in briefly before hitting the start button and a countdown will start on the display. 5...4...3... seconds to start a player competition game. Player competition mode equalizes awards (like mystery) and any other rules that might favor one player over another. Hit the start button before the countdown ends and you've started a player competition mode game. As many players as you want.
Player competition mode is different than regular competition mode (which is also a standard setting). Competition mode is full blown tournament mode. Every game is equalized. Player competition is usually best at home. Your kids can still play a fun game, but you and your buds can play Tommy dollars with even rules after the kids go to bed.
If the game is new to you, you may want to consider doing a factory reset. A factory reset will change all the settings back to factory defaults. Then you can change setting one at a time and see what they do. Factory reset is under the reset menu in diags.