Never shoot the center or side targets except during a multi. This is especially a problem with "on the fly" players. Drop catches, bounce passes, live catches - get control of the ball anyway you can.
If it's kicking your ass, you might try regular sized flippers.
With the lightning flips, you really need to be able to bounce pass and drop catch or BSD is super-duper frustrating. Before I knew how to do those techniques I think my highest score was around 350M with lightning flips, and that was after well over 100 games.
The way a lot of pros play is 2 left ramps, then start coffin multi, then 3rd left ramp to start bats, then two more to light mist and stack. At that point you should random hit enough standups to get your castle locks. I just tie up castle balls with the ramps and go for castle jackpots at that point. Coffin or right orbit into bumpers is another way to tie up a ball but sometimes gets you unlucky drains.
A lot of players also ignore the skill shot. Don't. It advances your video mode and coffin ramps.