I am a Stern fan. I like the idea of the BDK. Spiderman is my favorite pin to play (I am no expert), but I do not like Ironman, currently. Despite all the reviews, I can tell when I play it that it is NOT a Steve Ritchie design (he spends a LOT of time tweaking the shots). I do not like the randomness of the magnets. I also do not like the stupid joker-in-a-coffee-can contraption on the BDK, but I would probably still want the BDK. I already own a Spiderman, so that's done for me. I say get you a SM and the BDK. I haven't played BDK since the update, tho. I only remember the old endless multiball version of it. I honestly think that the whole Heath Ledger thing may actually add to it's value over time.... but that could be many years off...... I vote for the BDK. But in the end, it all boils down to personal taste, doesn't it? You like what you like- who cares what others think.
I am also waiting to see the new Gomez/Tron or whatever thing coming out next winter before buying my next NIB. I have a feeling it may be better than IM. (I actually kinda like BBH. You can tell that deer thing is gonna take a pounding on location, tho....)