my man Kareem Abdul-Jabbar didn't think much of it...
"MY TAKE: Avatar: The Way of the Water is like looking at the most beautiful gowns ever made—but hanging lifelessly on a wire hanger in a .99 store. I wanted to like the movie—I really did—because I have to be committed in order to sit in those small movie seats with my legs crunched up for over three hours! Unfortunately, my knees did not forgive me.
When the first thing most people talk about is the special effects, then you know something went terribly wrong. We can praise the innovative techniques all we want, but that is no replacement for the barrenness of the story, the thinness of the characters, and the blandness of the dialogue.
Director and co-writer James Cameron’s sequel to Avatar (2009) was thirteen years in the making, but already feels dated. We can start with the most obvious: it’s an hour too long. I say this as a moviegoer who likes long films (sorry, knees), but only if the story justifies the length. This one does not. Most of the scenes showing the family assimilating to life with the water tribe are boring and unnecessary. They didn’t have to be, but they are because the film cares more about wowing us with visual effects then giving us characters that aren’t stereotypes.
I like stories that blend genres, but this doesn’t blend so much as jump around with no transitions. It’s an action film, then a teen dramedy, then Jaws, then a pseudo-spiritual/environmental lesson (spoiler: We’re all connected to Nature), then an homage to Titanic. Yes, all this could have been mixed together to create something wondrous, but sadly it just goes through the motions.
There’s a ‘50s vibe to the plot. Mostly, the men are strong, silent, and manly, the women emotional and spiritual. Dads bond with sons, mothers with daughters. Most of the conflicts result from the children disobeying the parents—again and again. The dialogue, the plot, and the characters are all woefully predictable. I had more of an emotional reaction to Thing being injured in Wednesday than to anyone in Avatar.
Be prepared for three hours of eye-rolling and head-shaking."