Not taking sides but keep in mind international money transfers can take up to 21 days to clear and actually show up in someones account. I honestly think he's running business out of his house as a mom and papa type of shop. That would explain the BBB, consumer affairs and PO BOX situation. Just know that before doing business as if he closes shop you're going to have a tough time getting funds back.
For international orders - Nothing but bad with most of the pinball distribitors from what I hear. Not sure why but most seem to hate doing it and seems like everyone has issues, especially with the smaller guys.
I know what you mean by talking to him. His phone customer service skills are not good (I am a CS manager for the company I work for) but his actions, at least to me, were above industry standard.
I hope it's all a mix up and things work out for you.