This topic is like competitive minefield sweeping.
I’m pretty sure there are NO safe answers. Lol
I feel bad because my boyfriend did not want to play pinball with me for a long time and always pretend to hate pinball. He would say insulting things and make fun of me and my “expensive toys”

Then he played and beat me on, coincidentally, a Metallica and he was thrilled. He played like 5 other pins! Then he admitted that playing with me and my Pinhead friends makes him feel inadequate. Finally he discussed how he was afraid and embarrassed to ask questions or learn how to play because (he thinks) I’m such a great player.

I definitely am not. Got my ass kicked when I played in a tourney, safely securing my spot as a middle of the road player.

For me, I’ve still played pretty hard but I have purposefully missed big shots or avoided starting multiball if I know it’s an easy steal for him, or any other newbie I’m showing.
Multiball is the easiest way to feel like you’re doing great and is very satisfying. I give him some victories because I want to encourage him to try even harder and being excited to play is a huge part of that!

Either way, good luck. Some people are motivated by failure, and the desire to finally get the win. Others are self-motivated with a little boost of confidence.

How about changing the game or creating handicaps?

By changing the game, what about focusing on personal high scores rather than who scores more?

For handicaps, maybe the better player doesn’t play extra balls. Maybe “give” a certain amount of points.

How about picking different scores to hit For each player and getting a point if you beat it. First to three points “wins.”

How about putting a time limit on ball times?

Id try to find a way that makes it fun for everyone.

With my family, competition nights are handicapped. All scores are converted to accommodate scoring discrepancies (JJP games vs. Williams are very different scores) and then a predetermined percentage handicap is applied. We have fun discussing what the handicap will be and why. This strategy evolves as we evolve and makes the end result scores comparable. When the others in the family win in this way, they feel like they truly won, and I don’t have to sacrifice my own games. Lots of smiles all around!

You're lucky - so many of us play one player games. Even more so this year.

-Rob
-visit https://www.kahr.us to get my daughterboard that helps fix WPC pinball resets or my replacement LED display board for model H & model S Skee Ball

For me, it’s not about letting other people win, but rather running out of time to play. When we’re doing knockout tournaments at league, I occasionally end up doing “too well” and it gets really late for us (I have to be up at 5am for work and league is an hour away) So there have definitely been some nights where I gave up to get knocked out.

I'll let wifee win occasionally if she's having a string of bad luck
just so she doesn't get too discouraged and stop playing.
Steve

I’m not very competitive and would often let my partner win- otherwise he would get tired of getting beat at pinball (and the other games in the arcade) and we would never play.

Pinball doesn't have to be competitive. Some of the most fun I've had playing pinball is when my wife and I each take a button and play the game together. We don't get too deep into games, but it's fun and often hilarious.

I'd say without throwing the game, change your personal goal to something besides max points. Focus your game on getting to a tough challenge, or max number of loops or something. That way you'll still have a challenge for yourself, you're not throwing the game, but your gf may have an improved chance to beat you score-wise.

Reminds me of a South Park called "sarcastiball" or something...

they were forced to play baseball and found it so boring they tried to lose so they didnt have to play anymore. classic.

The Great Santini approves of your methods....

One of the leagues I ran had a 6 week series that was based on the movie “Fight Club”

In between weeks I gave the league members homework like Tyler Durden did in the movie.

One of the weeks was you had to play a game with a random stranger and let them beat you. The “start a fight with a stranger and lose” part of the movie.

You then had to take a selfie with the person showing the scores.

The point was to let people get the rush of winning in pinball and recruit people to league. It was awesome. So many hilarious stories and pictures and brought new league members.

Had 6 different weeks of homework assignments to get extra points towards the league points. Needed to be witnesses by other league members outside of league night.

Playing in a tournament with just friends at their thanksgiving party. Second place won a saved by the bell style tiffani amber thiessen t-shirt. Last game between me and a buddy and I was already drunk, he was the better player, and I knew I'd lose so I tilted. Walked away, then they dragged my drunk ass back and made me play a real game, which I really lost. Then someone talked me into winning my beloved shirt so I never even got to take it home.

Sure. I actually did that a few days ago when my stepson was over and we were playing Aerosmith. I did it this way though, played a 2 player game and I was player 1. My first ball I locked two in Elevator and two in the toy box. When ball 2 came around, he Had been talking to his mom and wasn’t paying attention. I told him it was his turn and he was able to start elevator mb and then toy box mb and had a great ball. I continued as player 2 now and he beat me by a wide margin.

He had a blast and even a few days later was saying how much fun he had.

What was the point of me not only winning, but having long ball times?let him have fun and feel good about it too. My wife didn’t know what I did and she was exclaiming how good he did and even beat me. Lol

During our friendly local league, I tanked a few games here and there because we are only playing for fun, not money or anything. Everyone knows I’m a really good player, so I don’t have anything to prove and I’d rather others have a good time by notching some wins.

Why don't you just play different machines at the same time and have her try to beat her own scores? Sounds like she is in it for the fun of it and spending some time together and you are in it for blood - not a good match ha.

I was going to suggest that too. I have 6 games and we rarely ever play a 2-player game. If I see/hear she is having a good game I will stop playing in between balls or at the end and go watch her play and encourage her. She feels like she sucks but she is really getting good. The problem is so am I so she doesn't feel like she is improving. Also when playing a 2-player game she sometimes has to just stand there and watch me play forever when I am having a good ball. She does like to watch me play once in a while to see things she hasn't seen yet on a game or learn basic handling skills. She picks it up fast.

Most of the time I just play "whack-a-ball" and don't take it too seriously. I practice handling skills and don't care if I goof and lose the ball. I like to try fancy shit that would be too risky if playing competitively. When a tournament is coming up then I start to focus on playing well for a few weeks prior.

I have no ability to take pinball serious. I might try and take it seriously against someone in the hobby. I always keep my game short and the score close against regular people. I was blowing up a Hobbit at a show when it first came out. There were people waiting so I just let my last ball drain and a guy was angry. It was so weird and why I’ll never join a tournament or league. I just don’t get how people can get so mad over pinball.

This is the approach I like to take especially with novices playing at home. Offers me a chance to work on my trick shots without running up the score on them. I also encourage them to shoot first just so it gives me the opportunity, if they have a big lead, before playing my last ball to ask them, " we could quit now and call it a tie", And then bring the heat.

I lose on accident. I'll lose to people who have never played pinball before. I really have no drive or desire to win. I just don't care enough, when it comes to being competitive at a game....

So, if you want to feel good about yourself, play me.

Always let the Wookiee win.

As far as pinball goes, it's hard to flat out lose on purpose, at least not without being totally obvious. You can shoot dangerous targets, and drain as soon as possible, but you can't just let the ball roll off the flipper without anyone noticing.

Admittedly its mostly me playing without my wife and we are both average players and simply play for fun. We absolutely doesn't know all our pin rules and mostly just aim for the currently blinking lights.

Our goal when playing together is to get to enter our initials but we never compare scores. This relaxed atmosphere make us avoid all the problems you seem to have, our only goal is to have fun and 0 about winning so no upset feelings or drama if someone "wins" with a higher score.

When we do a game night at my house my buddy and wife make up a few handicap rules for me and I roll the dice to decide which one I have to play with for that game. It makes it more enjoyable for them(helps me a bit also)because I usually have to play with only one ball or one hand so I get a challenge. We also do a time game style which is pretty challenging. I let one of them play ball 1 and we time the ball and how ever long the first players ball was the other players have that much time also with ball 1(they have to drain when the time runs out)and the same with ball 2 and ball 3. This makes it so I can’t have a long ball unless they do and overall it’s pretty fun.

My wife is super competitive and would get dejected and lose interest if I started running up the score on her. Now whenever we play, I just go for the riskiest shots, don’t get MB or go for EB. She doesn’t seem to notice and typically likes playing more when it’s competitive. It’s more about doing something together than winning or losing, at least in my view.

This post made me think of a SNL skit I watched recently.

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I never let her or anyone over the age of seven or so win. My wife beat me in a game of chess when we were first married 35 years ago. She still brings that up occasionally when I need to be put in my place because she knows she won fair and square. Same with pinball. I have nearly all of the high scores in the house, but she can and does win on "any given Sunday." And she knows when she does, she really won.

It does get pretty intense with the kids and games though, but that is another story ...

I was playing in a small tournament at a local brewery and managed to talk some of the locals into playing. This started becoming a regular thing and there was a couple that was always there and started regularly joining in on the tournament. He was a decent beginner player and she was a very beginner player. Anyway we became friends and she would always playfully cheer against me because I was one of the better players there and always finished in the top 3. One day it was down to myself and her boyfriend in the final round and she looked at him and said "if you beat him you can have whatever you want tonight"...

It was close going into ball three on Attack from Mars with him leading and I was the second player, I had one shot left to start multi ball which would have finished it, I super skill shot the plunge to the cow ramp, cradled the ball until the ball save was over and promptly fired dead center at the drop targets to make sure it center drained.

They were both ecstatic, I don't know what he got that night but I felt taking second place was well worth it to help a buddy out!

Whenever I lose, I lose on purpose

Probably Just happened, customer had a skate ball

I thought in the back of my head I better not win

Dad Rule#1- fake it well and let your kids win about half the time. Once they reach adulthood, show ‘em who’s the boss.

No, I don't have to do it 'on purpose' I generally suck.
Hence I stick to mostly doing restorations.

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