Once again, Pinsiders get right to work criticizing a new pinball game from a new manufacturer. Yep, I'd rather have no choice at all.

All you manufacturers of pinball games, stop giving me choices already! Please stop making new games so Stern can charge even more money for their games!

This behavior really makes one wonder if the people on this site who do nothing but criticize are either shills or seriously lacking in common sense.

I wouldn't fuck that game with your dick. That's the worst teaser I've ever seen ever.

These trailers are giving me some serious bad mobile app ad vibes.

I heard that every new game will include a complimentary gutter quarter scoop, so that operators can quickly and efficiently empty their overflowing coin boxes.

scoop (resized).jpg

Ask the people that bought Mafia, Thunderbirds, Cosmic Carnival, etc. how they feel being stuck with turds. I could argue that people that purchased these machines were "had"...

Also, the owner of this company is a con-man scum wad, as proven by one of the most reputable people in the business.

A small dick.

Pretty sure it's was supposed to be Don Knotts. You know, to connect with the youth!

Oh that wacky punny factory with all those hilarious puns being built to amuse dads across the world! But wait! There's a disaster at the factory!!! Who will help collect all those punnys?!?! Join the adventure and it COULD BE YOU! Just don't call OSHA because there's serious heath and safety violations here!!!

I swear, this "reveal" has just ruined my day!

What a tool

https://pinside.com/pinball/forum/topic/todd-n-tuckey-book-deal-1o-volumes?tu=pinballbuzz

Have you gone to their website? I seriously thought it was a work of satire posted by a pinsider at first. There was no way these pins really existed (I thought to myself).

Sushi comes to life and you must defeat it??? Pieces of tuna served as food???

Yes... we must be the ones lacking in common sense lololol.

I had sushi for lunch.

At no point did it occur to me that I was missing what was right before my eyes; the perfect pinball theme.

Yes but how many 2 year olds buy and play pins?

I partially justified my JP premium purchase with my two-year-old son's interest in dinosaurs & trucks. But he's not into puns yet.

Does he at least like factories or poor workplace health and safety oversight?

This pin has something for everybody!!!

or pun pins.

From the geniuses who brought you "Pinball Adventures"! Yes I still have the original copy. It is so bad in so many ways I can't imagine them taking on something as complex as a pinball machine and not having it come out horrible.

Is anyone else hoping for a Pigeon Patrol pinball? No? Just me?

https://www.pigeonpatrol.ca/

How could someone this fucking lame, with such horrible writing skills and a negative sense of humor have gotten anywhere in life?! It’s baffling. You know he’s that guy who thinks he’s the funniest, most interesting guy in the room - and everyone is thinking “what a fucking asshole”.

I ordered my step-son a guitar for Christmas. Heard that it arrived with a bit of damage.

Guess you could call it.....

A fender bender!

“pinside”

Or a Ricken - give me my money - backer.

Ok...dumb question after reading the Pinball News article. Has there been other games that have multiplied a jackpot level by how hard you hit a vari target? (Said something about multiplying it by 1x to 6x depending on position I think)

The concept actually sounded kinda cool....just curious if it has been done before (or something similar) and if so what game?

Not a manufacturer.

I feel like there are games that have done it, because I got it from somewhere and did it in Spaceballs.

Please stop defending such insulting dog shit games. Now let me break this down, so we can all be on the same page

The layout? Not terrible. Reminiscent of EMs and Gottlieb “Street Level” games. That’s passable and I enjoy the simple challenge a good single level game can bring.

The artwork & the promo videos:
Dear Lord, please let me feel the sweet kiss of death and spare me such horrors.
I know about 20 artists who can whip you up promo art in about 4 hours that is better than this for less than 50 bucks.
Get with the times and go on Instagram. Everyone is a starving artist.
Hell, search the animation hashtag and you’ll see teenagers more talented than Disney that crank shit out in a day thanks to technology.

IT’S NOT HARD TO GET A DECENT ARTIST, PINBALL SCAMVENTURES. Andrew is just a typical cheap money-grabbing con man who won’t pay anyone. I bet he even recorded his own voiceovers because he thinks he’s that great.

They’re awful. Nobody cares about your 5 minute MS Paint “story”
We see this shit from the Indian companies that bootleg whatever is trending that day.

This is a .99¢ App that someone with too much money created into a shell company to become a money-laundering abomination.

Now MAYBE if this was made into a modular machine that could play 12 different shitty games, it would be interesting.
But it’s not.

Cabinet already looks like trash even for a prototype.
Artwork is horrid, low-effort and pitiful.
Promos are self-congratulatory and cringe-worthy.
It started bad, got worse, and ended up face-planting into a cactus doin’ 80mph.

At least Suncoast’s Kosmic Karnival looked awesome, had badass artwork, and a badass soundtrack. With finished code it woulda been an ok game. This is probably the worst entry into pinball we have seen to date.

Since Andrew and co. will downvote this comment while being too cowardly to respond:
1.Take a step back.
2.Seriously EVALUATE what you’re working on.
3.Get a real artist.
4. Pick a theme that someone with pinball money would buy. It can be original and good. Hell, Juggalo Robots or Hippie Mercenaries or some sorta of relevant counter-culture. Right now Fake Nostalgia is HUGE with the 20’s crowd. They’re all craving for a time they never lived in but with modern technology.
5. Stop being a cheap bastard, team up with AP or someone to manufacture your game. If the company has put out at least 2 machines then they’ve already got their shit together more than XYZ startup, so pool your resources together and maybe it won’t suck as bad.

Yeah it’s a great concept till you remember nobody likes vari targets. Even jpop never tried to bring that one back, and he never met an ancient gimmick he didn’t like.

I like it

Least satisfying thing to hit in all of pinball. The one on Ripleys that dropped into a hole was almost bearable.

How about with a plumbus?

hmmm....possibly

James Rolfe just called, he wants his shtick back.

(This is a joke.)

Guys, this is proof that we live in a multiverse with infinite realities. Sadly, ours is the one with the shittiest pinball machine to be invented. I am going to squanch in the corner while you sort this out.

He’s actually funny, unlike this game.

On a serious note, I’m wholly knocking everything but the design. The company, the theme, the person behind it and so on, is terrible. If that artist is in house with your studio, I’m sorry for you.

However, as I mentioned the layout doesn’t seem bad. If this were a bare whitewood, it would be received decently. It’s hard to go wrong with a classic layout.

Also I just read the website...
81FE5202-018E-4F73-8F71-C5DA9AA22D35 (resized).jpeg
This is a whole lotta nothing.
Wack.
I cannot imagine pitching this to anyone...

Ive been saying this since 2016 - there was clearly a fracture in the multiverse & I ended up in the shitty pinball universe where people begged to give $15k for an unfinished untested Stern game with B66 & accepted GB as an actual game they’d touch more than once. Clearly, Spooky also got stuck here from the good pinball universe & gave us TNA & Rick and Morty.

from the article:
"Andrew provided assorted artwork, display animations, sounds & music for the game and suggested playfield elements he would like to be included, such as the numerous standup targets, drop targets and the vari-target."

Does this have a portal? yeesh...

On a game where they are actually dialed in and working well I like them. The Sanctum used to have a Gottlieb baseball that was so dialed in you could nail them with 2" flippers repeatedly.

I will admit.....it's rare. And probably one of the hardest things to keep working well. And Lord knows your flippers better be rebuilt....

Doesn't Safe Cracker have one also?

genesis does...

Cool...game so need to find. I like the idea of jackpot value being tied to level of accuracy.

So I've slept on it, and had some time to think about it.

Still horrible in every way and I wish nothing but failure upon Pigeon Patrol Pinball.

I like me some vari-targets

My internal monologue on this theme: "It's 2019. You can't say the R-word. It's 2019. You can't say the R-word. It's 2019. You can't say the R-word."

Repulsive?
Revolting?
Ridiculous?
Repugnant?
Repellent?
Rotten?

Sure. All of those.

Sorry, your answers are retarded.

Thank you all for the support, positive comments and pre-orders we have received following the introduction of the Punny Factory Pinball Machine.
Our success will come from the continuous faith in the excellence of our products and services, something we are committed to and would never sacrifice.
Our customer service, especially in the after sales phase, guarantees the satisfaction of our clients. In line with this strategy, please share with us your feedback.
Pinball Adventures……

The word troll is most commonly associated with fairy tales and things living under bridges. They only come out to harass people who want to get by. The word troll to my children has a whole different meaning. It is now the name for a person on the internet who harasses other people.

The anonymity of the internet and social media sites can make a person feel like they are invisible online. They think that because no one knows them they can act and speak as they please. While there is such a thing as free speech, there is also common courtesy.

As we have seen on the national news, people are not free to say whatever they want without consequence.

To the Pinside troll, we are not afraid of you, we are not even bothered by you. We all know about you and your intent. You seek to stir up discourse and cause chaos. If that is the purpose of your life do what you must.

When I see a troll I have two options, I can scroll on by and ignore it, or I can comment. Often, I choose not to comment. Here is why you are a dime a dozen. A troll is not original or even creative. You are simply a person who has access to the internet and doesn't know how to function in polite society.
A person who knows how to function in polite society knows that not everyone will think the same, this is a good thing. A person who knows how to function in polite society knows that civil conversation is a sign of an educated person. A person who knows how to function in polite society knows that words on a computer screen will not change a person's opinion.

I address you today because much like the fairy tales, you need a protagonist to stand up to you.
To the troll, you may spurt your vicious lies and inflammatory comments all you want. I will not engage with you. You are not worthy of my time or my families time. I will block, delete, or just plain ignore you.

I am not against a person having a different opinion, but please have a genuine conversation. Listen to all sides of the story. Form a valid argument for your opinion and be able to communicate it. I will not settle for the uneducated drivel.

I understand you may be an educated person. You may have a great job and a great life. If you are an internet troll, you are not doing the world any favors. It reeks of loneliness and attention seeking. It takes away from whatever you are like in real life.

Part of the internet is anonymous, but it is harder and harder to stay hidden. The trolling will come back to haunt you. The credibility you have is slowly being eaten away by your hate-mongering. When your accounts are brought to light, only the trolls will want you as a friend.

Try something new. Make polite conversation. Act like you care about someone or something. Be a person, not a troll.

Jesus fucking Christ did you hire Dr Freightner to do your PR?

Reported for trolling.

oh no

Well I did try and tell you - everyone is entitled to express their opinion, but since Team Pinball aren't selling the game, Pinball Adventures don't care and the market will decide how many get sold anyway, this whole brouhaha has been magnificently and predictably irrelevant.