From Grand Champ to Grand Chump

By KOpinball

May 28, 2024

This story got featured & frontpaged on June 13, 2024

58 days ago

I have always been the leading champion in my household. I'm not bragging, I'm just truth telling here. Some people are antagonized by the truth but, the facts are the facts. All my pins have had my name, KO, under grand champion but now that my 8 year old can see a lot more on his tippy toes I no longer hold the coveted title. I really don't know how I feel about this new found pain. I can deal with a lot of aches and pains, I'm middle aged for Peet’s sake.  But boy, oh boy, this one hurt like a mother. I don’t know how to feel about this new found pain. I might have to seek therapy over this torment.  Yeah right, I would never.

The other day I turned on my new pin and thought maybe I can get in a game or two in before breakfast.  Right before I could press the start button, my son jumped up and said “mommy, me first.” I was like, I guess. I was thinking to myself this would be lickety-split for him to drain 3 balls. So I walked away and poured my coffee.  When I came back I saw him twisting and shouting with joy, so I looked at the scoreboard, and to my surprise it stated 325,000,000.  He said “look momma, I’m better than you.”  Oh how those words stung me like a shot arrow through my heart.  Then he goes “it’s only ball ONE mommy.” I said “son you’re a line stepper. You better watch yourself.”  I was flabbergasted.  This had to be some kind of nightmare. 

So, I did what any self-respecting middle aged person would do; so I pantsed him.  I thought for sure that would make him stop scoring. I was certain he couldn’t break my record now. Boy, was I wrong.  This kid shimmed his pants right back up. I couldn’t believe he was playing one handed; alternating his hands from flipper to flipper, securing the ball from the drain. In his most mischievous voice he said “nice try mommy;” which was accompanied by the biggest smirk I had ever seen on him.  After a couple of seconds the first ball drained.  I was nervous at this point I was freakin desperate to sabotage him…  Before he pulled the plunger on his second ball he said “momma no funny business.”  I said who the heck you talking to son? He replied “ I love you mommy.”  I stood behind him, thinking this would apply pressure on him, but he wasn’t phased.  The score was rising and rising.  He was soooo close to beating my score.  I panicked and covered both his eyes.  The whole house heard the loudest scream “Momma nooooooo.”  He scored grand champion with his eyes closed.  I just couldn’t stop laughing.  I let go of his eyes and he turned and said, “I’m the grandest now momma.”  He played his last ball and that is how I went from champ to chump.

Story photos

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41 days ago

Great story! Thanks for sharing!

41 days ago

It's a great story. And you are a horrible mother. I am kidding. Thank you for an entertaining tale :).

41 days ago

I can't wait till my kids can compete at a decent level.

36 days ago

I love it when my kids beat my high scores. Shows they are interested and keeps them excited about pinball. Even though i've been playing tournaments since 1991. It's great to see my 8 year old, perform better sooner, than I ever could.

36 days ago

Hilarious. I wish my wife liked pinball, like you. Anyway, I have since relinquished my Grand champ titles to my son. Now I just set a benchmark score for each of our three games and when I beat that, I am happy. When I don't, I cry

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