THE LEGEND OF FULL TILT JACK

By FullTiltJack

June 11, 2020


24 days ago

A long time ago in a root beer bar far far away, walked in the most dangerous outlaw in all of the historic west side springfield. People said he was the fastest flipper in town, some say he could skill shot in his sleep, and some say he used one of Brians spoons to scratch his foot and he didn't tell anyone about it.

Anyways, in walked the bad man Full Tilt Jack. He put a quarter on the bar and asked , "gimme some suds you no good hashbrown chomper." 

Everyone around looked scared and started to sweat. The bar keep put a ice cold, wet IBC on the counter. Full Tilt Jack blew a big bubble of big league chew then spat it on the floor. He picked up the sweating root beer bottle and quickly looked around. As he did, all of the other outlaws and cowboys looked at the floor, in fear of Full Tilt Jack's signature move, The Death Tilt.

Full Tilt Jack sipped his root beer. He glanced across the room.

"Ahh I see you have The Aerosmith Pinball."

He slowly walked across the room putting the root beer aside on a table people were already sitting at. The sat silent and knew not to touch his root beer.

Full Tilt Jack then reached down to his change dispenser on his belt. It shined gold in the sunlight. Above the slots only read three letters, 'FTJ'. 

He took out three quarters and then eyed the picture of Steven Tyler singing and said, "I'm about to tilt you out of this world Steve. Let's Dance."

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