Creed of the low end pin man

Creed of the low end pin man

By dasvis

January 04, 2018


3 months ago

The Creed of the Low End Pin Man

In a time of pinflation and craigslist tomfoolery and game-rooms becoming like cryptlike shrines - there came to be known the ones called Low End Pin men. This is their creed.

The Low End Pin man craves not to line the walls of his lair with a NIB ACDC BIBLE with latest firmware and foundry cast brass bell mod. Ye Old Medieval Madness and the Clan Addams he avoids, unless the beasts be found on route location or at tourney. Instead the LEP man seeks the true worth of a machine in the form of the Bally Freedom, the GamePlan, the sweaty EM stood on end in a dusty corner. The undeservingly unloved, their rule-sheets short and their #44's dimmed with age and neglect - he cannot resist them.

The Low End Pin man does not wear white gloves while playing. His pintable vibrates and groans with extended play sessions wearing it down to dust while the Low End wizard laughs maniacally. "It's meant to be Played, not Laid" is his motto, mating call and battle cry all rolled into one.

He eschews the mirror blade, the gold plated ball, the handpainted plastic toy, the $400 repopped topper, the subwoofer, the LED generally, the fiber optic, the magic fingers massager and the High-Def Color 3D Smell-O-Vision DMD - these fripperies are not for the Low End Pin man.

The LEP man does not buy what can be borrowed, does not replace what can be repaired, does not repair what can be spit shined, does not spit shine that which is already truly "decent" and "serviceable". He endeavors to make the Low End Pin work with his own hands, via hacked tool, dodgy internet tutorial, paint marker, decoupage, needlepoint, necromancy - whatever it takes. He does not resort to the hired gun for his board work or his coat of clear, except when he finds himself in truly desperate straits.

The LEP man holds his breath when handling his backglass so that the flakes do not take flight and anoint him like so much multicolored dandruff.

The LEP man is not an artist. He does not spray that which may be brushed. He does not brush that which may be wiped or smudged. He does not touch that which may be concealed by post or plastic. He has no problem with quality or workmanship, he just knows that you are not supposed to be able to shave in the reflection off the playfield of that Evil Knievel, dude, WTF?

The low end pin man knows that the truest joy is the short green buy. When he sells the beast on to the Medium pin man, he will realize the cost of his time at $1.50 per hour if he's lucky, but who cares? The memory of the blood and sweat, the project game revived, the ball times long and oh-so-short, the echos of the triple knock shall sustain him until he can dip Low again.

Story photos

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Comments

3 months ago
Absolutely hilarious! Thanks!
3 months ago
What a gem!
3 months ago
Ha! Fun read! :)
3 months ago
Very creative and love the perspective and word imagery. Good stuff, it sounds like a pinball theme song lyric. Very creative! Thanks for taking the time to have fun and to express yourself at the same time.
3 months ago
Well, we all gotta start somewhere! Great lil read. Still laughing...
3 months ago
AMAZING!
3 months ago
Keep flippin LEPM your helping keep it alive.
3 months ago
Well said. Something about 'For Love of the Game' that matters most. Great post!
3 months ago
Genius. I now feel better that, not only have I identified my lifestyle choice, it’s also recognised by others!
87 days ago
Love this. Well written.
86 days ago
I too am proudly a member of the Low-End-Pin clan! Although I must say I have been compensated much better than $1.50 per hour by the medium-range pinners who buy my machines after I return them from the dead like Lazarus! We low-End Pinners are the Miracle Workers of the Pinball World! Have faith, ye low end pins, and I shall grant you eternal life! You shall ring your chimes and knock your knockers far past the days of "modern" pins, who shall one day share the fate of Gameplan - no boards, no support, no fun!
61 days ago
How true! LOL.
50 days ago
That was fantastic. Well written. .
48 days ago
Yes,that was a cool read
34 days ago
I laughed out loud at the reference to multicolored dandruff. Clever.
32 days ago
Hear hear!
26 days ago
Scary how many of those references pertain to my efforts. Proud to be a member of the club.
26 days ago
I am not alone! Hallelujah!

My rules are: Do no harm, provide a warm/dry home, exercise them regularly.
6 days ago
Amen!
6 days ago
Amen!
1 day ago
Really enjoyed reading this. Made me smile.

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